People don’t often times think that sociopaths have friends or, can have friends but, they do. I was in a relationship with a sociopath for a long time, which started out as friends.

Once upon a time we were friends, and I didn’t realize it until it became something more what I was dealing with, however, looking back there were signs.

When we were friends I would make fun of his sexcapades, as I called them. His rotating door of sex triumphs and multiple girls running in and out of his life but wouldn’t take note of the times they would come crashing on his door screaming and yelling at him like he screwed them over or something. I saw texts from chicks and his weird responses, but didn’t know enough about sociopaths to understand what was headed toward me. Until one night….

It has been noted that a sociopath has a particular look in their eye that is predatory and intense. And, if I had known that simple, somewhat small attribute of a sociopath, things might have turned out different in my life. Well, they would, but I didn’t know then what I know now.

SocioPath Red Flag #1 – THE GAZE

I’ll never forget the night our friendship became something more. I caught him giving me a different look; a dark, predatory, searing, curious gaze. I was on my way out to a party and had on a sexy short black dress and caught him checking out my legs. I felt his stare running up and down my legs and everything changed after that.

After that night, we became romantically involved and I walked into the terrible world of a sociopath. In my opinion, you can be friends with a sociopath, but you can not be in a romantic relationship with one. Sometimes I wish we never crossed that line into something more cause I miss the friendship. I miss my sociopathic friend, but not the sociopathic boyfriend.

A few years later, when I was deep in a relationship with my sociopath, I knew there was something wrong, had hard core facts that things were bad aka proof he was cheating, lying, deceiving. I recall standing in my kitchen staring him down. He was trying to defend one of his usual betrayals, and I just sat and stared at him. It made him uncomfortable. He looked perturbed and asked me what I was looking at, why I was looking at him like that.  Well, you tell me.

Photo by justinknabb