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Addictive Relating

7 Insidious Goals of Gaslighting, 2 of 2

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse. It is perhaps the most insidious tactic of manipulation because of it's intent to disturb the sense of self and agency, safety and reality of another, to make it easier to interfere and control their thought and communication patterns.

This overarching goal of gaslighting to intentionally traumatize another into submission is what makes it insidious. What could be more inhumane?

Not surprisingly, its methodical...
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Dear Narcissist, Stop, You’re on the Wrong Track!

This post consists of a letter from this therapist, which is addressed to those that meet the criteria for narcissistic or antisocial personality disorders, NPD or APD respectively. Ideally, an NPD or APD would read this message, and to some degree, embrace and seek professional help to change the serious patterns of abuse they intentionally use to traumatize others for their own gain.

In reality, persons with these disorders are not likely to...
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Your Self-Talk, Taking Back Your Mind From Crippling Lies of Narcissist

When women share their experiences of being in a relationship with a narcissist, they discover that, while the details of each relationship differ — the words and tactics that narcissists use are all so bizarrely the same!
It’s as if they consult one another, work from the same playbook, share game plans. The stuff that comes out of their mouths is, well, the same.

It’s like a secret language, except it’s not a...
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Addictive Relating

5 (Good) Reasons to Leave a Narcissist

It's not easy to leave a narcissist. Focusing on good, solid reasons is a vital step. It's a necessary momentum to reach a goal vital to your wellbeing and life, in this case, to open the cage door of a toxic relationship, and realize you've had wings to fly away along ... at minimum emotionally.

It starts in the mind, your mind. Not his.

In a sense, leaving him is the easy part. You want to start...
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Conscious Lifestyle

20 Quotes for a Mindfully Happy and Healthy New Year!

Happiness is more than getting what you want. A happy and healthy New Year begins with you. It's an inside job.

It's realizing how grateful you are for the blessings you have, and how essential this is to energize an ever brighter future.

A list of resolutions can be great. If it hasn't worked in the past, why not something new?

How about an overarching resolution -- happiness -- to realize what you're already hardwired to, and...
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Addictive Relating

Why Sexual Assault Is Based on Powerlessness, Not Power

Photo by new 1lluminati

It's clear that rape and sexual assault are not about sex.

What is less clear, however, is that these acts are also not merely about power -- at least not power per se. They are rather a form of power, or lust, to objectify, diminish, dehumanize, exploit another.

This cannot be emphasized enough.

Like mass shootings and domestic violence, and pedophilia, intentional acts of violence, emotional or physical, are about deriving pleasure from...
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Psychopathology of Extreme Masculinity, Mass Shootings, Assault and Rape

Mass shootings may be impossible to predict, however, a cultural milieau that idealizes violence for men (and authority figures in general) as "necessary" for the maintenance of "social order" that keeps those deemed "low" status groups in their place, is one that breeds domestic violence, rape and assault of women, child sexual abuse, bullying -- and mass shootings.

Extreme masculinity depicts maleness as a construct that, essentially, stands against everything that...
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Addictive Relating

Redefining Narcissism as a Love Deficit

Narcissism is a love deficit; and a narcissist a lost soul.

It isn't that he's not fully equipped for human love. He is. Like everyone else, he is human. It's just that he hates the idea of being human. He has trained himself, from the time he was a child, increasingly, to feel disgust at signs of human "love stuff," to prove he's above such weakness.

He's fought hard, in...
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