Recovery from Perfectionism and Codependency

Dear Readers,

As you may know, Psych Central was recently bought by Healthline. And, as such, changes are on the horizon. At this point, I will not be adding new articles to the Happily Imperfect Blog here on Psych Central. And, unfortunately, some of the existing articles may be removed in the coming months. (I don’t have all the details about what’s planned for Psych Central’s blogs.)

Writing the Happily Imperfect blog has...


How to Stop Being So Controlling

Are you a controlling person? If so, you’re not alone! This has been one of my personal struggles over the years — and although I haven’t completely freed myself of the desire to control things, I’ve figured out some ways to keep it in check that I’ll share with you in this post.

But before we delve into how to stop being so controlling, let’s talk about what it means to be...


How to Let Go of Guilt

If you have codependent traits, you probably take responsibility for things you didn’t do, problems you didn’t cause, and circumstances or people that you can’t control. And as a result, you may feel guilty – even when you haven’t done anything wrong.

Let’s look at an example.

Miguel’s father brings his dog, Buster, almost everywhere. And although the dog bit Miguel a few years ago, he never objects when his dad brings Buster...


Setting Intentions for Healing and Changing Codependency

Change. Uncertainty. Worry.

When you’re experiencing a crisis or going through a difficult time, coping with the uncertainty of the situation can be really hard. Most of us crave predictability; we thrive on structure and want to know what’s going to happen, when it’s going to happen, and what the outcome will be. We want to be in control!

But life rarely goes as planned. And we don’t have nearly as much...


Having Needs Doesn’t Make You “Needy”

Overcoming codependency and poor boundaries requires us to notice and value our personal needs, but many of us, understandably, deny our needs out of fear of being too needy.

Codependency, people-pleasing, and boundary issues are rooted in our tendency to avoid our needs and feelings. Instead, we focus on taking care of other people’s needs, trying to make them happy, or trying to solve their problems. And if you’ve...


Codependency Recovery: Moving Past Resistance

Codependency Recovery: Moving Past Resistance
By Michelle Farris, LMFT

People who struggle with codependency don’t find their way into recovery easily. They are usually outward-focused and devote much of their time and energy to helping others, rather than investing in themselves. They bend over backward trying to be everything for everyone. As a result, they burn themselves out. Some even get sick with stress-related illnesses.

Being codependent means that we become a human doing rather...


How to Change Your Codependent Behaviors


Any long-standing pattern of behavior can be hard to change. We’re creatures of habit and tend to repeat the same behaviors over and over, often without even thinking about them -- and sometimes we continue even when these behaviors create problems for us. This is the case with codependent behaviors.
What are codependent behaviors?
When I talk about codependent behaviors, I’m referring to things like enabling, perfectionism, self-sacrificing or martyrdom, obsessing about...


Are Your Boundaries Too Weak or Too Rigid?

Do you struggle with setting boundaries? Is it hard for you to say no or assert yourself? Do you have trouble trusting people? Do you frequently feel mistreated or resentful? These can all be signs of boundary issues.
What is a healthy boundary?
Most of us are familiar with the concept of boundaries. Boundaries serve as limits, telling others how we want to be treated and what we’re each responsible...


How to Deal with Difficult or Toxic People


Is there someone in your life who is extremely difficult -- who we might call a "toxic person"? If so, you know how stressful it is to deal with them. And, unfortunately, encountering a toxic person, whether in your family, workplace, neighborhood or religious community, is not uncommon.
Toxic people have the potential to do serious damage to your mental health (and possibly physically hurt you as well). That’s...