How to Change Your Codependent Behaviors


Any long-standing pattern of behavior can be hard to change. We’re creatures of habit and tend to repeat the same behaviors over and over, often without even thinking about them -- and sometimes we continue even when these behaviors create problems for us. This is the case with codependent behaviors.
What are codependent behaviors?
When I talk about codependent behaviors, I’m referring to things like enabling, perfectionism, self-sacrificing or martyrdom, obsessing about...


Are Your Boundaries Too Weak or Too Rigid?

Do you struggle with setting boundaries? Is it hard for you to say no or assert yourself? Do you have trouble trusting people? Do you frequently feel mistreated or resentful? These can all be signs of boundary issues.
What is a healthy boundary?
Most of us are familiar with the concept of boundaries. Boundaries serve as limits, telling others how we want to be treated and what we’re each responsible...


How to Deal with Difficult or Toxic People


Is there someone in your life who is extremely difficult -- who we might call a "toxic person"? If so, you know how stressful it is to deal with them. And, unfortunately, encountering a toxic person, whether in your family, workplace, neighborhood or religious community, is not uncommon.
Toxic people have the potential to do serious damage to your mental health (and possibly physically hurt you as well). That’s...


How and Why to Detach with Love

What is detaching with love?
Detaching (or detaching with love) is a core component of codependency recovery. If you often feel worried about a loved one, disappointed or upset by their choices, or like your emotions revolve around whether they’re “doing well” or not, then detaching can help you.

According to the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation, “detachment with love means caring enough about others to allow them to learn from their mistakes.”

Codependency expert...


27 Signs that You’re Recovering from Codependency


Recovering from codependency is a process -- often a long and challenging one.

You may find yourself wondering if you’re making progress. You may feel discouraged at times. And you may even feel like you’re sliding back into old patterns. These are all normal thoughts and concerns!

When you’ve been stuck in codependent thoughts and behaviors for a long time, it can be hard to know what recovery looks like. So,...


Boundary Issues During the Coronavirus Pandemic

For many of us, the coronavirus pandemic is challenging our boundaries in new ways and requires us to be more assertive about our needs. So, in this article, I’ll highlight a couple of these “coronavirus boundary issues” and give you some ideas for setting the boundaries that will help you stay healthy and feel safe and fulfilled during the pandemic.
Boundaries for handling the end of stay-at-home...


How People-Pleasers Can Stop Apologizing for Everything

Do you “over-apologize” or know someone who does?

Over-apologizing refers to saying “I’m sorry” when you don’t need to. This could be when you haven’t done anything wrong or you’re taking responsibility for someone else’s mistake or a problem that you didn’t cause or couldn't control.

Here are a few examples of over-apologizing.

The waiter brings you the wrong order and you say, “I’m sorry but this isn’t what I ordered.”
You approach the...


Guest Post: Using Self-Compassion to Reduce Anxiety

Using Self-Compassion to Reduce Anxiety

I’ve always had a doubting, critical voice. In the past, it showed up around my parenting skills, my relationships, my work -- and my everyday life. It wasn’t until I went back to school for my master's degree in counseling when I was in my 50’s, that I found a path to heal that critical voice.

Being back in school later...