6 thoughts on “Top 5 Unhealthy Ways of Thinking (and What to Do Instead)

  • August 9, 2017 at 8:33 am

    Im currently surrounded by people who think in this manner more often than is considered healthy. Ive spent a vast portion of my life attempting to escape those who possess this mentality. The elders in my immediate family growing up were so enmeshed in this form of thinking that it was deeply depressing. Now ,unfortunately, my current mate and her family often think in these ways as well. This was not an obvious trait until getting to know them in depth. As it turns out theyre enmeshed in this mentality also. Once again I must remove myself from an entire group of people who seem to believe this form of thinking is normal, productive and acceptable. Wish me luck in finding peace.

    • August 10, 2017 at 9:34 am

      These unhealthy ways of thinking can run in families, and it’s hard to help them understand that there are better ways of communicating and engaging. It can be super frustrating. I do wish you luck and peace.

  • August 9, 2017 at 8:39 pm

    My big ones used to be predicting the future and black and white thinking. Both got in the way of me living a full productive life in the present. I think the article is great and useful. Too bad the folks who need to hear about those five ways of destructive thinking are probably not usually the people drawn to your websites. Thanks for a healthy reminder. It never hurts.

  • August 9, 2017 at 9:43 pm

    What if you know rationally that these are unhealthy ways of thinking, yet in the heat of the moment *still* engage in (for example) anger-fueled labeling of someone?

    I struggle with anger. It is an extremely difficult emotion for me. I often hold it in, and then I explode and I resort to name-calling when I feel triggered. I want to stop, and I am in therapy, but I still struggle. I wish I knew what to do.

    Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

    • August 9, 2017 at 11:24 pm

      Hi Brenda,
      It is very hard to not resort to things like name-calling in the midst of anger. It’s as if anger takes over everything at the moment and the logical part of our mind shuts down. This can be especially true if you tend to hold your anger in until it explodes out.

      There are a couple things you might try, depending on your situation. First would be to try and prevent the feelings from getting out of control in the first place. Learning how to express things before they get to the boiling point. Sometimes it can be good to ask the person you tend to explode on to help in the moment. Maybe ask them to say something like, “I love you but I feel like your emotions are getting out of control. I’m going to the other room (or out for a walk, etc) until things have calmed down and we can talk.” You could also try to remove yourself from the situation for the moment. When you feel yourself getting to the boiling point, make an agree with yourself that you will not act or communicate with anyone for 20 minutes, and then you can talk.

      There are many cognitive behavioral things that you can do as well – getting grounded, breathing, relaxation techniques. This is all easier said than done, of course. I’m glad you have a therapist to help you along as well.

      Thanks for your comment!

  • August 12, 2017 at 12:28 pm

    I was cynical but I tried identifying 3 good things that happened in the day every day for a while and it really did help me shift my focus onto seeing more of the good things and less of the bad. You need to practise before you reach crisis point so it’ll be something that comes to mind when that mind is overwhelmed and unable to think straight


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