5 thoughts on “10 Ways to Prevent Couples Counseling

  • April 9, 2012 at 10:21 pm

    Why is it that on just about every list like this, by female therapists suggesting things to strengthen marriage, sex is never, ever mentioned at first blush?

    When pointed out, the therapist always corrects herself and says it’s an oversight, but there is some unconscious mechanism still at work, in my humble opinion. I’m not sure what that mechanism is.

    Sex is crucial to marriage. Sex may not save a marriage when the marriage goes bad, but sex can sure torpedo even a good one when it goes bad.

    • April 10, 2012 at 7:59 am

      Excellent point! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You are absolutely correct that a satisfying sexual relationship is a key component to an overall healthy relationship.

      • April 10, 2012 at 10:19 am

        So Kate, what’s your theory on why so many female therapists leave this out of their lists of top areas for couple attention, and then later acknowledge — as you do — that it belongs there? What’s the unconscious mechanism at work with the omission?

        Thanks for responding so quickly!

      • April 10, 2012 at 10:58 am

        The honest answer is, “I have no idea.” 🙂 Perhaps you are on to something though. I would be curious if you could suggest similar list examples, written by men, that DO include sex as a suggestion for improving a relationship?

      • April 10, 2012 at 5:42 pm

        For a full discussion of this, take a look at this post by Dr. Susan Heitler and the illumating comments over at PT:

        “Why Do Marriage Therapists Undertreat Sexual Problems?”

        This got me sensitive to the issue.


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