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Partners Communicating: Tactfully

shutterstock_14972281“I much prefer the sharpest criticism of a single intelligent man to the thoughtless approval of the masses.” Johannes Kepler

Kepler’s got a point, eh?!  He had a few. “Galileo, Kepler, and Newton proved that matter is governed by rational laws.”

Scientifically speaking, we use incorrect terms when we refer to “sunrise” and “sunset.” But in everyday speech, these words are both acceptable and accurate, when we keep in mind our terrestrial perspective. ~excerpted Science and The Bible–Do They Really Contradict Each Other?

What is Your Terrestrial perspective as BeautifulBreathingFragileLife, Friend, Partner, 1 of many Caretakers of this Beautiful Planet Earth??

Humbly, we must admit our perspective on anything or anyone is limited. As Partners in Wellness, as BFL inhabiting our own individualized ecosystem(s), our particular life experience(s) and our particular learning experience(s)…etc. all come together in amazing ways to give us our own unique perspective or our own take on reality. Even people living under the same roof, experiencing together or sharing together similar spaces of time and experience/life will see things/reality differently (even if only slightly)!

To see things differently doesn’t necessarily mean contradiction. It could mean complementary points of view. Accepting that we will see things differently is a good thing! As Partners, let’s not get into a huff just because we don’t see eye to eye on everything. All eyes see differently.

Can’t we let our differences be conciliatory and not inflammatory?!

As BreathingFragileLife, we all have our own set of sensitivities and insecurities.  However, we can choose to be inspired instead of insulted by differing points of view. We can choose kindness and a silent: ‘I forgive You’ by freely giving others the benefit of the doubt instead of making issues out of non-issues. (Being reasonable in our expectations of ourselves and/or others helps promote peace.)

Everyday we promote something. We advertise. Our attitude, our speech, our conduct and our dress choices advertise much. Advertising is communication. Would You describe Yourself as a Promoter of Peace? If not, why not? If so, why so?

Differing points of view, can give us a broader picture. A broader picture basically means more information. It gets tricky, at times, because accurate information is critical to decision making that doesn’t endanger or damage our self or anyone else.

So, knowing it’s a given that with whomever (wherever or whenever) we exchange information aka communication or conversation…that most likely we will not totally agree on every detail concerning whatever topic under discussionTACT is a crucial component necessary to any effective-peaceful communication or information exchange.

Being tactful could save so many relationships and lives! Tactless informational exchanges aka conversations between partners, leaders, educators, countries or disagreements leading to fighting, war, divorce and/or death could be avoided! “Where there is no wood the fire goes out.” (Proverbs 26:20)


Can we choose to be gentle and kind vs. abrasive and rough in our speech and dealings?!

  • How would You personally number rate your word choices from very gentle #10 to very rough #1?
  • Can You add more gentle vocabulary?
  • Can You subtract any unkind words?

No matter the situation: critical or trivial: add some tact and see for yourself a positive result.

“It is time to put a bullet, once and for all, through [the] heart of the catharsis hypothesis. The belief that observing violence (or ‘ventilating it’) gets rid of hostilities has virtually never been supported by research.” ~Psychologist Carol Tavris

“Research shows that ‘letting out’ all of your anger in a cathartic manner often leaves you feeling more uptight, not less.” ~Psychologist Gary Hankins

Here are various descriptions (on-line & other) that I’ve read regarding Tact:

Please see which one(s) You like:

Tact: Show discretion in what you say as well as how and when you say it, in order to avoid offending others needlessly.

Tact: A person who is motivated by love does not want to irritate others; he/she wants to help them. One who is kind and mild-tempered is gentle in his way of doing things.

Tact: Sensitive mental or aesthetic perception.

Tact: A keen sense of what to do or say in order to maintain good relations with others or avoid offense.

Tact: Meaning “sense of discernment in action or conduct, diplomacy, fine intuitive mental perception” first recorded 1804, from development in French cognate tact. The Latin figurative sense was “influence, effect.” ~on-line Etymology Dictionary

Thank You for reading the following tidbits on Tact from: Learning the Art of Being Tactful:

[…] tact as “the ability to appreciate the delicacy of a situation and to do or say the kindest or most fitting thing.” The word originally referred to touch. Just as sensitive fingers can perceive if something is sticky, soft, polished, hot, or hairy, so a tactful person can sense the feelings of other people and can discern how his words or actions affect them. But doing this is not just a skill; it involves a genuine desire to avoid hurting others.

Tact is especially important when you have a complaint against someone. You can so easily hurt his dignity. Specific commendation is always appropriate first. Rather than criticize him, concentrate on the problem. Explain how his action affects you and exactly what you would like to see changed. Then be prepared to listen. Perhaps you have misunderstood him.

People like to feel that you understand their viewpoint even if you do not agree with it.

Learning what to say and how to say it and what not to say and what not to do in any given sensitive area of conversation between Partners and Others is crucial to compassionate communication!

Good-Effective-Compassionate communication adheres/glues relationships/partnerships/families together by using tact and not tack (pinches hurt)!

Our word choices can: attract or repel, incite, inspire or insult!

 Pleasant sayings are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and a healing to the bones. (Proverbs 16:24)

Who doesn’t like some honey aka sweet, pleasant, healing, tactful conversation?!

Please pass the honey, Honey…(and not the Pooh)!;)


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Partners Communicating: Tactfully

Joan Winifred

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APA Reference
Winifred, J. (2014). Partners Communicating: Tactfully. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 21, 2020, from


Last updated: 16 Apr 2014
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