cause i wanted to find you.
I needed to help you (that was “pure” motivation)
I always look for what’s lost (somebody’s got to, right??)
it brings me JOY!:)
the broken shells on a beach need picking up and polishing, no?! They need gentle care. (Like the wilting Autumn leaves on trees: appreciate!)
of course, certain shells catch one’s attention a little more than others, eh?
(You were/are shiny and brilliant!…(a lure??)
Who really needs my help-DUH! get over yourself (joanie) immediately!
you’re just another shell, potentially just as easily consumed by ocean
and just another collector of another collection of broken shells needing fixing
the seekers, the searchers and
the searching ones
the shells…the sand…the sifting, the finding…the polishing, the picking of leaves…
the rescuers, the responders, the rescuing and the responding…needing rescuing and responding, too.
(the workers of compassion hard at work in the time sensitive task of now)
But I couldn’t find you, you were not close…(you twinkle like a warm distant star in the cold black sky)
should I stop star gazing, now? (probably?)
cause I didn’t know…honestly, I didn’t know.
what exactly I was looking for…or what I was doing or what I would learn…but i tried, i did try…(am always trying!!)
to help, to reach….. you
but maybe, I just hurt
myself or You…don’t know!
HOW can one fully measure the help? or the hurt? (or one’s life work)…sometimes, it takes both (hurt & help)to set a broken bone back in place.
my well wishing, will it bandage your heart?? i HOPE so. (You cannot possibly understand, but I pray for you and that you will someday.)
We don’t always find what we set out to find (or learn what we set out to learn)…or find what we think we are looking for or who we seek, huh?
found missing pieces of myself, too. pieces of truth broken off/
sharp/cutting/bleeding/in need of delicate bandaging. (We all need a soft bandage and a comforting shoulder.)
I do know what this is…these symptoms!…it’s sickness of the heart and worry of the mind
infected with compassion sickness: past the point of fatigue…
remembering safety protocol and safety procedure: care with caution and proceed with caution!
Sign reads: Do not enter the danger zone!…to save a life sometimes you forfeit your own piece of peace, so somebody else gets some pieces of your peace that they need, may be more than you.
NOT invincible!…you “willing” take on task, run to burning building…will you not get burned??? inhale smoke??? what did you expect IDIOT (aka me)!
What can I possibly do with this shell?? it’s really beyond me
or this…leave (?)(!)(.)
Just keep working at being a helpful doer
(Believe me: It’s not a game or a filler of time: it has meaning–it’s life and death!)
“Who of You by being anxious can add one cubit to his life span?” (Matthew 6:34)
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