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A Partner In Pain: How To Help Two

shutterstock_135280343Greetings Psych Central and Beyond! I wish You PEACE.

Peace of Mind and Peace of Heart; that’s a wellness start!:)

On the 18th of this month, I said “goodbye” to the 17th tooth in my mouth. A wisdom tooth that has been bothering me for a while.  (What’s been bothering You?? and for a while??) Hope You get relief.

For context IF You wish, You can check out: A Partner in Pain: How to Help!

Though what’s a wisdom tooth problem, when so many are suffering needlessly with bigger bothers/problems in other places like: US, Syria or Kenya, etc!🙁 All are in my thoughts and prayers!

Everyone needs peace, compassion and healing of one kind or another. We all need Doctors, Dentists, Leaders that truly care and are willing to help us: All BeautifulBreathingFragileLife. It’s sad that in many places people are not getting the medical care, mental care or pain management they desperately need.

Truly hope YOU get what You need. Need a laugh?!🙂

At least, I was able to find (with help/empathy from: Hubby Chato Stewart and Friends) a reputable oral surgeon (close by) who cares more about my well-being than my money.  She extracted my tooth for 1/4th of what another surgeon wanted. Her and her Staff were Kind. I thanked her for her work of compassion and she hugged me as I left her office.

Naively, I was hoping that goodbye would mean “Hello!” to No more immediate bothers/concerns/pains associated with #17 and that I would be feeling pretty good right away! Guess, I still have LOTS to learn -lol especially about recovery

Time has been a topic of intrigue for me for years…always learning timing and patience. (That’s probably 1 reason why I value the written word/poetry/books…because they transcend time. This blog describing my recent “past” events that i’m writing “now” is finding You… in Your present time (which is future when i publish).  These words find You whenever/wherever..which is already my past…as You’re reading this in your now…get what i mean? Confused?)

Compassion literacy takes many forms.  For example, the pain of a tooth extraction, stitches and swelling. I learned Epinephrine makes my heart race and makes me feel a little shaky. I couldn’t imagine getting this tooth yanked without any numbing needles…can you imagine what it’s like for those suffering in Syria and elsewhere without adequate care or pain management??

Do You have any allergies to medications? It’s important to know these things, eh? Realized already my allergy to Naproxen–which I’ve avoided for years. Hubby is allergic to Penicillin. However didn’t know, I am allergic to Penicillin as well. (Sorta learned the hard way: i.e. Severe nausea, dizziness, vomiting, hives/rash…turned an unusual shade of pink.) This experience has taught me stuff!-lol SORRY for sharing too much info. Just acknowledging learning to relate to those who may be suffering side-effects to medications (i.e. my Hubby, Family, Friends, All Fragile Life).


1. Be Quiet…cause you cannot open your jaw -lol  Which helps one (namely me, an extreme chatterbox) learn to speak only when necessary or important. My listening skills are hopefully improving!;)  Teaches me that every time I open my mouth…could be causing pain to myself or someone else. Speak with Caution!

2. Find Comfort…I’m not an “emotional” (physical) food eater. For whatever reason, am not too attached to food. IF I’m too busy working and am hungry– can wait a long while till my job is done…more like an emotional  (spiritual) mind/brain food eater: finding comfort in words:  poetry/ancient wisdom/song:

“God is for us a refuge and strength, a help that is readily to be found during distresses.”

Though, my preference for literal recovery food has been: baked potatoes mashed and mashed bananas with chocolate.

image used in joan winifred's blog shutterstock_83022697

YUMMY! I know, You’re right, my sweet tooth brought me here: this place of pain/endurance. Anyway, where do You find comfort?! Positive Places!

3. Recover…Never realized would/could learn much from this 1 tooth extraction/experience… still recovering, still pink, still in pain days later. Realizing that recovery takes time and takes patience, so as partners, we need to be patient with our partner’s recovery process. Pain is a place we want to flee but have to endure…temporarily.

Work helps me recover. Physical labor/movement/housework/organization/exercise. What is helping You recover?! What is helping You endure Your pain?!

4. Not Scratch…when itchy isn’t easy! Hooray, less pink today!:) That’s useful–not scratching–(aka self-control) for a lot of things other than allergic reactions, eh?!…cause once You start scratching, You may not be able to stop!;)

THANKS for listening/reading/responding or just thinking.

Simple Summary:

When Your Partner Is In Pain…HELP!:)

image used in joan winifred's blog shutterstock_135026813

“For if one of them should fall, the other one can raise his partner up. But how will it be with just the one who falls when there is not another to raise him up? Moreover, if two lie down together, they also will certainly get warm; but how can just one keep warm? And if somebody could overpower one alone, two together could make a stand against him. And a threefold cord cannot quickly be torn in two.” Ecclesiastes 3:10-12

photo–d-rendered-toon-character-funny-tooth available at Shutterstock
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photo-tooth available at Shutterstock

A Partner In Pain: How To Help Two

Joan Winifred

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APA Reference
Winifred, J. (2013). A Partner In Pain: How To Help Two. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 13, 2019, from


Last updated: 23 Sep 2013
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