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One Key to Happier Communication

ThinkerThoughts lead to words. Words lead to actions. Actions produce consequences: good or bad?  Happy or sad? Love or hate? Calm or chaos? War or peace? I’ll take the peace, please–THANKS! Oh, and please add love, happy, calm and good while you’re at it!

As an extreme extrovert, I really admire the quiet ones who have the amazing ability and self-control to hold dear and near, close and private their deepest thoughts, contemplations and meditations. Discretion and confidentiality are important in certain settings. Care-giving is one such setting.

Sssshhhh! Hush! Quiet please! (Will you shut up already?) The thinkers, deep thinkers, do they always need quiet to think? Are you a thinker? Talker? Or both? Do you think before you speak? I try (emphasis on “try“). No, really, I do…try! I didn’t say succeed…yet?

Enjoying conversation, communication and sharing my thoughts, learning through verbal, outgoing expression and the written word has very strong appeal to me. It’s my learning process, which can be risky and dangerous at times! Being friendly in an unfriendly environment, being open when others are closed, standing up when others sit down and asking questions when others don’t want to answer invites harsh criticisms, misunderstandings, misinterpretations and miscommunications. To sum it up in one word: pain!! And a lot of it.

Are you in pain? I hope not. Ouch, I really need a band-aid, can you share one? Reality check, I need a box full of them! Don’t we all need a band-aid, a hug, a soothing word of comfort?? Some mercy??

Thanks for your forgiveness if I misspoke!

Yes, thinking before speaking and thinking before acting is critical and crucial to wellness emotionally, physically and otherwise! One can really spark a fire and then have a blaze that is totally out of control. Don’t burn the house down as Caregiver and partner! Don’t let it all go up in smoke — figuratively speaking. Is rebuilding more difficult than maintenance? Maintaining positive, happier communication is an art form which requires training, on-going education and lots of practice to improve. (Please keep reading…you’ll find a key to happier communication below.)

Gaining and keeping control as an extrovert is not easy; not easy for me and most likely (definitely) not easy for those I  communicate with face-to-face. Please know, I do NOT believe in harmful gossip, rumors, slander or abusive, damaging speech that hurts!! This extrovert believes in up-building, positive, empowering, motivating and encouraging speech that heals!!

Isn’t there enough hurting in this world?! Let’s try some healing — and that starts with me. Caregivers and partners have the responsibility to heal and help, think and then speak! An abundance of words could be causing an abundance of pain. May be less (words) is really more. More poignant, heart-felt words and less thoughtless ramblings with word whiskers. That’s my goal!Eyes on Your Goals

Keeping our eyes on our goals helps us stay focused and less distracted. Do you have any better, happier communication goals? Is there someone in your life you want to better communicate with? What are you thinking? Good, positive thoughts?

Those are safe to share because they show you care! Even when upset, justified with a cause for complaint, it’s wise to control our speech; doing our best to stay calm and civil. As caregivers and partners, can we let it go? Fire fighting starts with prevention. Don’t add wood to the fire. BonfireBe safe–use safe speech!

Here’s 1 Key to Happier Communication–a wise, practical thought:

“The tongue is a little member and yet makes great brags”…“Look! How little a fire it takes to set so great a woodland on fire!”

I’m sure you would agree, I’ve done enough talking. This blog is done…(time to bite my tongue and not stick it out!)


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One Key to Happier Communication

Joan Winifred

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APA Reference
Winifred, J. (2012). One Key to Happier Communication. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 15, 2020, from


Last updated: 14 Aug 2012
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