Need treatment? Find help or get online counseling right now!

Archives for November, 2011


Advice on Leaving a High-Conflict Partner

Randi Kreger, coauthor of Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder, and the founder of , recently wrote a great post on her Psychology Today blog about how to leave a partner who has a personality disorder. Since this is a topic she is well-versed in, and I could not write about this topic any better than she...
Continue Reading

Anxiety and Panic

Two Steps Back?: Signs of Partner Relapse

In a perfect world, recovery from a psychiatric illness would be like getting over a cold: once it is gone, it's gone. Our bodies would build immunity to that illness, and we'd never be sick in the same way again.

Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way with mental illness. It can come back, and when it does, it is often stronger than it was before.

When I release clients from my care because they have...
Continue Reading

Anxiety and Panic

Black Friday = Black Mood For Your Partner?

"Black Friday" gets its name from the fact that on the day after Thanksgiving, retailers finally make enough money for the year to "be in the black"--in other words, profitable.

For your partner with a mental illness, "Black Friday"--or really, any day this time of year--can feel darker than usual.

Since yesterday was Thanksgiving, it's likely that you and your partner were with family and friends for the holiday (and they may even still be in...
Continue Reading


Is Your Partner S.A.D.?

Daylight Savings Time here in the ended a few weeks ago, and shorter days/longer nights are with us for a while. Many people notice a shift in their moods when the winter months come, but some people experience a depression that starts when the weather turns colder and lifts when the weather warms up again and the hours of daylight increase. Does this sound like your partner?

If so, your partner may...
Continue Reading

Anxiety and Panic

When Your Partner Has a Phobia

Most people don't like snakes. Many don't like insects, either. Or bats. Or rats. Or anything that falls into the "creepy-crawly-slimy-gross" category. Some people fear storms, refuse to use elevators, or panic on planes. Still others break into a cold sweat at the thought of giving a speech, using a public restroom, or having a procedure done that includes the potential sight of blood.

If your partner has a phobia, the dislike of whatever the...
Continue Reading


It’s Not the Most Wonderful Time of the Year…

...if your partner has a mental illness, that is.

With the holiday season upon us, our regular routines can get thrown into chaos: travel to family gatherings, time with extended family, irregular eating and sleeping schedules, and perhaps consuming more food and alcohol than usual. In addition, there's pressure to spend a lot of money, to find the "perfect" gifts, to make appearances at parties, to host get-togethers, and to fulfill the expectation that...
Continue Reading

Eating Disorders

Holiday Help for Partners With Eating Disorders

Thanksgiving is just a few days away, and the gluttony of the holiday season is upon us. For people who enjoy food, this is the best time of year. For those who have eating disorders, the time from now until the festivities are over in January is torture. Food is everywhere: at home, at the office, at stores while you are doing your holiday shopping, at the holiday parties, and at holiday gatherings of...
Continue Reading


Feeling Manipulated by Suicide Threats?

"If you leave me, I will kill myself."

"You don't really care if I live or die. Why don't I just kill myself--then everyone will be happy."

"If you loved me, you would do what I tell you."

If you are on the receiving end of threats like these, whether they come from your partner, your parent, your sibling, your child, or your friend, it can feel like a bucket of ice water has been poured over...
Continue Reading


Tools for Coordinating Caregiver Support

When help is needed, people are usually surprised by the outpouring from others. Family and friends may overwhelm you with offers to help. People you didn't know were friends step up to contribute. It seems like everywhere you turn, someone is asking what they can do.

That is, until the crisis has passed, and life returns to "normal," whatever that is. Other people have lives to get back to, yet you may still have...
Continue Reading


Do You Need To Be Needed?

Peter Gabriel sang the song "Love To Be Loved" on his 1992 album Us. Do these lyrics sound like you?
So, you know how people are
When it's all gone much too far
The way their minds are made
Still, there's something you should know
That I could not let show
That fear of letting go

And in this moment, I need to be needed
With this darkness all around me, I like to be liked
In this emptiness and...
Continue Reading