16 thoughts on “Authenticity & Body Image

  • December 15, 2010 at 9:29 am

    Oh, I think being your real Self is very separate from objective looks. We can maintain appearances (clean clothes, well-groomed, etc.) no matter our size. Our appearance is only a very very small part of who we are. It’s funny how it takes a lifetime of misconceptions to learn that it really is what’s on the inside that counts most of all.

    • December 15, 2010 at 10:52 am

      @ Michele, it is funny that such a simple saying can be so true. Thanks for your comment!

  • December 15, 2010 at 10:28 am

    Beautiful words, Margarita! I too felt like a puppet, although I’ve never thought about it through that image before. I was constantly letting others call the shots, allowing them to push me and pull me, as I simply mirrored their actions. After years of living like that, I started becoming more self-aware and realized I barely even knew myself. Even basic stuff – my favorite flavor of ice cream, my preferred style of clothing, things like that – had been so influenced by other individuals and by society that I didn’t know my own true preferences.

    I’m still in the process of getting to know the real me, and it’s an amazing journey!

    • December 15, 2010 at 10:57 am

      @ Katie, thank you so much! I can totally relate to relying on others’ opinions even for the simple things like music and movie tastes, clothing style and just actions in general. I think discovering yourself and being yourself are brave and necessary things. And it is a wonderful process, and I’m glad that I’m at the point in my life where I can see that. Thank you for sharing your experiences!!

  • December 15, 2010 at 4:14 pm

    I think the most influential experience for what helped push me into authenticity happened in middle school after a very bad bullying (within my own clique) incidence. It really helped me in many ways. Perhaps I should write about that 🙂

    • December 16, 2010 at 6:18 pm

      @ Kendra, I think that’s such an important topic to explore, and if you’re comfortable, I hope you do write about it! It sounds like you turned a very negative experience into an opportunity to grow. That’s awesome!

  • December 16, 2010 at 12:01 am

    as always, a thought-provoking blog. at this time of year, with so much emphasis on food and yet so many ‘out there’ telling us we shouldn’t eat this or watch out for that, this blog always help center me.

    i’m figuring out who i am and what’s important to me, as well. going through a serious psychiatric event like being hospitalized for almost 6 months will do that to you 🙂

    one of the really key things i’ve been meaning to ‘tell’ you, margarita, is that because of the thoughts and advice in your blog, i’ve stopped reading anything to do with weight loss or ‘being healthy’. in women’s magazines, the regular paper, whatever. those articles do nothing to help me, and mostly hurt me. so thanks for that. the only exception is my running magazine and that is because i want to get better at the sport of it.

    although not too much running is happening at the moment because i fell down some stairs last week and broke my foot. which is affecting my life fairly significantly, as not only am i stuck at home because i can’t drive (had to break the RIGHT foot), i can’t go to the gym as i had started doing again recently. so it’s hard to ‘feel good’ about oneself when it’s virtually impossible to do even basic levels of activity.


    this too shall pass, right?

    • December 16, 2010 at 6:28 pm

      @ Julie, thanks so much for your comment! I’m glad to hear that my writing has helped you not to read those articles. That seriously makes me happy! I’m sorry to hear about your foot. I can totally understand where you’re coming from, because physical activity is so important for our wellbeing and positive mood, so it can certainly take a toll. But this will absolutely pass. And the good thing is that you’re giving your body the rest it requires. Maybe you can use this time to discover something new to do, a hobby or just focus your energies on taking care of yourself in other ways. Feel better!

  • December 16, 2010 at 6:13 am

    I totally agree. I just published a similar post (under “Does That Girl Make My Butt Look Fat?”) about how important it is to look inward rather than obsessively comparing ourselves to other people. Great post, Margarita.

  • December 16, 2010 at 9:24 am

    I think it’s so true that when we focus on thinness to the exclusion of everything else, we chip away at our core. And I found that “thinness” was a moving target that I could never reach, no matter what my weight.

    Thin = happy is an illusion, and I’m also grateful to know my beliefs, my values, and my heart today. Thanks for sharing!

    • December 16, 2010 at 11:34 pm

      @ Heather, that’s such an important point – it’s very rare that we’re satisfied once we lose weight. We want to keep going and going, and being at an unhealthy weight is fleeting. And when you count on your appearance to make you happy, that happiness is fleeting, too. How freeing that you know your beliefs, values and heart today!!

  • December 16, 2010 at 2:33 pm

    As I rediscover myself after a long and destructive relationship with someone who is mentally ill, I”m realizing that my longtime “food issues” are not separate from my need to figure out who I am again, but PART of it. Thanks for reinforcing that for me.

    • December 16, 2010 at 11:38 pm

      @ The Writing Goddess, I used to think the same thing – that my relationship with food was one thing, my insecurity and shaky sense of self another. But it’s really one in the same. Thanks for stopping by!

  • December 17, 2010 at 8:03 am

    So true Margarita – “But the ultimate happiness and freedom reside in being you.”
    Such a great reminder that this applies to everything – how I look as well as how I write, practice yoga, dress, everything!

    • December 17, 2010 at 10:49 am

      @ Nina, that’s a fantastic point! It does apply to all areas of our lives. Not to sound corny (OK, this is totally corny), but it’s really our guiding star.


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