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Are You Yearning to be the Perfect Package?

You yearn to be the perfect package. Thick, shiny hair. Thin, muscular frame. Razor-sharp cheekbones. Calm. Confident. Smart. A person who makes everything look effortless; who rarely gets frustrated or flustered; who has productive days every day.

You yearn to be a person who’s skilled at small talk and public speaking. A person who fits into skinny jeans and wears pure white—without getting spit-up, chocolate, deodorant or sweat marks on it. A person who always declines dessert or devours it and doesn’t gain an ounce. A person whose kids don’t throw tantrums in the cookie aisle because they demand you purchase every package. A person who always sends a thank-you note.

You yearn to be a person who rises to any challenge who knows exactly what to do, what to say. A person with a spotless, clutter-free, organized home, who doesn’t have a box of ornaments stashed in the corner of the first room people see when they walk in. Two months after Christmas. A person who doesn’t have random, year-old receipts stashed inside an entryway table or papers piled on most surfaces in every room.

You yearn to be a person who goes with the flow instead of freaking out. A person who eats avocado toast for breakfast. A person who lives in an Instagram image.

You yearn to be someone you are not.

You are messy. Sometimes disheveled. Usually late. A person who feels like an impostor, who struggles with self-doubt. A person who makes bad jokes and occasionally offends others. A person who sometimes over-promises and under-delivers. A person who gets overwhelmed easily, has a hard time concentrating, and gets sucked into social media. A person with many soft, squishy parts. A person with blemished skin. A person who gets anxious at seemingly easy tasks and cries when receiving criticism. A person who’s sensitive to noisy environments and big crowds. A person who requires downtime. A lot of downtime. A person who loves reading about productivity advice but rarely follows it. A person who leaves dishes in the sink and laundry in the dryer. For days. A person who wastes time. A person who eats dinner, most evenings, in front of the TV. A person who works hard but sometimes fails. A person who hates avocados.


Show her to the world. Keep showing her. Because pretending, hiding behind a flawless exterior, is exhausting. Because you’d be showing others that it’s OK to be themselves, too. It’s OK to be human, to contain multitudes and contradictions, to quit conforming to a distorted culture. Because you want to know that the people who love you really love you for you. And because this is you. Simply. You.

You are not a perfect package. You never will be.

But you are a beautiful one.

Photo by Aron Van de Pol.
Are You Yearning to be the Perfect Package?

Margarita Tartakovsky, MS

Margarita is an associate editor at She writes about everything from taking compassionate care of yourself at any weight, shape, and size, to coping healthfully with difficult emotions. Her goal is to give readers practical, empowering tips to better their lives, and to remind you that whatever you're struggling with, you're never, ever alone.

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APA Reference
Tartakovsky, M. (2017). Are You Yearning to be the Perfect Package?. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 7, 2019, from


Last updated: 16 Feb 2017
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