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Beyond Weight and Thinness: Exploring What You Really Want

Buddha quote

Yesterday, in this post, I talked about the illusion of thinness—the belief that once we lose weight and finally become “thin,” we will have everything we’ve ever wanted. Our lives will be beautiful. We will finally be worthy of love, care and attention. We can finally wear comfortable, stunning clothes. We can finally treat ourselves to delicious meals and kind habits. We will finally have it all.

Instead of waiting until we lose weight, I think a more helpful and supportive approach is to explore what really underlies our desire to be thin, and how we can bypass the weight loss, and simply start pursuing those meaningful things right now. Because why wait?

Today, I’m sharing questions to help you in this exploration, and to help you take action. Please know that whatever weight, shape or size you are, you always deserve to go after your dreams. You always deserve kindness, both from yourself and from others. You can build the life you want.

I often cite this quote from Geneen Roth on Weightless, and here it is, again, just in case you need the reminder, too: “It’s never been true, not anywhere at any time, that the value of a soul, of a human spirit, is dependent on a number on a scale.” (I also love the above quote in the image.)

  • Why is being thin so important to you?
  • What do you think it’ll give you?
  • Where did you learn that thinness is important?
  • If you weren’t spending your time, energy and attention on getting thin, where would you spend it? Where would you want to spend these finite resources?
  • How do you want to feel in your own skin?
  • If you weren’t exercising to lose weight, would you engage in the same physical activities? If not, what activities would you engage in? (For instance, maybe you’d skip the gym, and ride your bike instead. Or maybe you’d try that restorative yoga class.)
  • If you weren’t dieting to lose weight, what foods would you really eat?
  • What or who can help you in relinquishing your yearning for thinness? What kind of support do you need?
  • If you are finally deemed worthy of love, care and attention, how do you live your life? What do your days look like? Who do you hang out with? Who do you stop hanging out with?
  • What does a beautiful life look like to you? What can you do today to cultivate that?

I hope you’re having a wonderful Sunday, and I hope these questions help you to pause and think through what you want—and work on that today, no matter the number on the scale.

Beyond Weight and Thinness: Exploring What You Really Want

Margarita Tartakovsky, MS

Margarita is an associate editor at She writes about everything from taking compassionate care of yourself at any weight, shape, and size, to coping healthfully with difficult emotions. Her goal is to give readers practical, empowering tips to better their lives, and to remind you that whatever you're struggling with, you're never, ever alone.

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APA Reference
Tartakovsky, M. (2016). Beyond Weight and Thinness: Exploring What You Really Want. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 29, 2020, from


Last updated: 28 Feb 2016
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