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20 Questions for Getting Honest with Ourselves

Owl in Central Park

We need to know what we want, what makes us happy, what’s troubling us, what’s truly on our minds and in our hearts in order to lead a meaningful life and have meaningful relationships. This requires listening to ourselves, taking the time to pause and check in. And it requires getting honest with ourselves. Bare bones honest.

Here’s a list of questions to help you get honest — to explore your true self, to reconnect with your heart:

  1. As I lie in bed in the morning, how do I feel about the day? What thoughts are running through my head?
  2. What am I trying to forget?
  3. What am I missing?
  4. Where do I need support?
  5. Might it help to see a therapist?
  6. Who am I when no one is looking?
  7. What do I want to do when no one is around?
  8. What do I want to say when no one is around?
  9. What’s bothering me?
  10. Do I accept myself overall?
  11. What am I not admitting to myself?
  12. Are the beliefs I have about myself actually helping me? Are they inspiring me to build a fulfilling life?
  13. Have I been listening to others at the expense of my own voice?
  14. What prerequisites or conditions do I set for practicing self-care? (As in “I need to do X before I can relax” or “I can’t set boundaries until I lose weight, which is when I think I’ll actually deserve respect or love.”)
  15. What needs or dreams have I been afraid to say out loud?
  16. Does my home feel like home?
  17. Am I treating my body, my mind, myself with respect?
  18. Do I ever feel lonely? When? Why?
  19. What am I criticizing myself about?
  20. What would I like my life to look like?

This week on my creativity blog I also explored how to get honest with ourselves when no one is watching. Because, of course, we are different, even if just a bit, when we are with others, and when we are alone. You’ll find journal prompts and questions to delve into who you really are.

20 Questions for Getting Honest with Ourselves

Margarita Tartakovsky, MS

Margarita is an associate editor at She writes about everything from taking compassionate care of yourself at any weight, shape, and size, to coping healthfully with difficult emotions. Her goal is to give readers practical, empowering tips to better their lives, and to remind you that whatever you're struggling with, you're never, ever alone.

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APA Reference
Tartakovsky, M. (2015). 20 Questions for Getting Honest with Ourselves. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 28, 2020, from


Last updated: 7 Aug 2015
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