A few days ago I shared self-compassionate words that can help us put a pause in the self-critical cycle. Words that offer support and understanding and kindness and honesty and love. Here are other words — sentences and questions — which also might help:
- I am listening to you. I’m listening to your pain, to your worry, to your overwhelm, to your concerns, to what you need.
- How can I truly support myself?
- I can be honest about what’s really wrong, what’s really on my mind.
- What’s an empowering second decision I can make? (This might help when you’ve made a mistake or a bad decision.)
- Every second is a new moment to begin. Every second is a new opportunity. To take action. To take care of myself. To do what I need.
- What is this situation teaching me? About myself? About what I want? About what matters to me?
- My body is a machine, and a work of art.
- What would I suggest my best friend do in this situation?
- I can feel this feeling. Feelings are fleeting. Eventually the pain will pass, but processing it is important.
- These are the strengths I can bring to this situation …
- Is what I’m saying to myself making me feel better? If not, what can I say that will?
- Today, my body helped me do this …
- How can I channel this worry into a solution?
- Who do I really trust and can talk to about this situation?
- I know this is hard. Really hard.
- Making mistakes is human. I am only human.
- Getting rejected isn’t some big sign from the universe. It’s simply someone’s opinion, which may be based on everything from their mood to their needs to their upbringing.
- Needing help doesn’t make me weak. Seeking help actually means I’m strong. Very strong.
- What can I give myself in this moment that’ll serve me?
Like I mentioned in the previous post, find the words that ring true for you. Words that make sense to you. Words that are meaningful to you. Create your own short list of self-compassionate sentences and questions — words you can turn to when you’re feeling overwhelmed, when you’re bashing and blaming yourself.
In fact, if it helps, write these words on an index card, on a small sheet of paper, in your planner, in your smartphone. This way you can easily access these reminders when you need them.
Words are powerful. Try to use the ones that support and serve you. The ones that acknowledge how you’re feeling, how you’re really feeling, whether you’re devastated or angry, or feeling an emotion you’re embarrassed about.