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Body Image Booster: When You’ll Never Be Her (Or Him)

{via etsy by Jan Skácelík}

Every Monday features a tip, activity, inspiring quote or some other tidbit that helps boost your body image, whether directly or indirectly — and hopefully kick-starts the week on a positive note!

Got a tip for improving body image? Email me at mtartakovsky at gmail dot com, and I’ll be happy to feature it. I’d love to hear from you!

How many times have you looked at a stranger — or maybe someone you know — and yearned to be her (or him)? Yearned to have their supposedly flawless face, figure, fashion style?

This weekend I read this beautiful post by Alison Gary at Wardrobe Oxygen. Here’s an excerpt:

This morning I got off the Metro and ended up following a woman through the station, up the escalator, and waited next to her at the intersection for the light to change. She was probably around 30 years of age, slender but toned. She was wearing a dark navy trench with the belt perfectly tied behind her to cinch the waist, had a tan buttery-soft leather handbag from a popular designer, a flippy printed chiffon dress that ended at the perfect length with the trench. Legs that looked tan from outdoor summer activities, not a spray or bed. Bouncy blonde hair that swung when she walked and tan suede flats that were the perfect shade and likely a commuter shoe that would be replaced by some heels that would be the perfect shade and height.

I will never be her.

Yesterday I stood in line behind a woman. She had silver hair cut in a spiky, funky short ‘do, had creamy white skin and looked amazing with a fresh face and just a hint of lip stain. She wore multiple shades of gray – a gauzy open cardigan, double-layer tunic, cropped pants, and suede wedges. Humongous silver earrings that looked like car parts and a 4” wide engraved silver cuff on each wrist. She had perfect posture and even when studying the menu, had a slight serene smile on her face.

I will never be her.

I knew I had to share this post with you because I’ve always wanted to be her: the girl with the “perfect” body, effortlessly polished outfit, clear skin, unwavering confidence.

The girl who supposedly had everything I didn’t.

What about you? Have you struggled with the same thoughts and feelings?

Maybe your thought process traverses a similar cycle: It goes from enjoying and admiring someone else’s look or style or other quality, to realizing that you’re missing this clearly essential thing.

It goes from thinking, “Wow, she looks awesome,” to “Wow, there’s something wrong with me.”

Somehow it turns into a shortcoming, a weakness in yourself. Somehow you’re lacking. And somehow it’s all your fault.

There are still those sneaky times I find myself wanting to have someone else’s something. I’m not sure if we can ever eliminate comparison-making, envy, jealousy.

But we can bring it down to size. We can interrupt our thought process, so it never gets to the part about lack. We can remind ourselves of something very powerful. As Alison writes in her post:

I will never be any of these women, 
and that is a good thing because I am me.

I definitely recommend reading the rest of Alison’s post (and printing it!). While she focuses more on style, her wise words speak to embracing ourselves as individuals in every way.

We all have different shapes, sizes, personalities and preferences.

This isn’t just OK. It’s a good thing.

Remind yourself of that fact when you forget.

Body Image Booster: When You’ll Never Be Her (Or Him)

Margarita Tartakovsky, MS

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APA Reference
Tartakovsky, M. (2012). Body Image Booster: When You’ll Never Be Her (Or Him). Psych Central. Retrieved on October 17, 2018, from


Last updated: 24 Sep 2012
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 24 Sep 2012
Published on All rights reserved.