Home » Eating Disorders » Blogs » Weightless » A Letter Of Self-Love

A Letter Of Self-Love

brave, creative joy retreat

Dear Self,

Your whole life you’ve been hard on yourself and set sky-high expectations, whether it was academics or appearance.

You rarely felt good enough.

Sure, sometimes you were super confident or felt pretty or smart. But deep down in your core, for some reason, you didn’t feel worthy.

You let others walk all over you, even when they were supposedly your friends or significant others. It was excruciating for you to stand up to someone else.

You yearned to be everyone but you, compared yourself constantly to people you thought were better, prettier and more intelligent.

You didn’t feel like you had the permission to listen to your body, your head or your heart.

You were afraid to be yourself. In fact, you weren’t even sure who she was at times.

Instead, you searched for self-love in diets, thinness and validation from others. You thought losing weight would bring popularity, love and ultimately happiness.

But you’ve always had it in you.

In the midst of wanting to be in someone else’s better-looking, stronger, more exciting shoes, you were always and always will be worthy.

You are strong in many ways. While you stifle your emotions sometimes, you’re a courageous person, and you don’t give yourself enough credit for that. You push through your fears and anxieties to do things anyway.

You are a good listener, and you have a good heart. You are ever-evolving, and you’ve worked hard to get here.

While you beat yourself up here and there, you have accomplished a lot, even when you were going through gut-wrenching circumstances. You are doing work that you’re passionate about. Because of you. You got here. No one else did this for you.

A shy seven-year-old girl who didn’t know a single word of English, who went straight to second grade, without going to first in either country, has achieved a lot. Don’t forget that.

You made several big decisions in your life, and they’ve been incredible learning lessons. You’ve stumbled but you’ve also stood up.

You’re learning to treat yourself with the respect, dignity and loyalty that you deserve.

You’re learning amazing things all the time and applying them to your life. You’re nourishing yourself with fun physical activities and delicious foods. You’re focusing more on what you want. You’re listening to yourself. You’re becoming more independent and mature.

You are brave in your own way. And your quirks are beautiful. You are curious, smart, sarcastic and silly. (And you’ve got a great pair of legs! Hehe.)

Sometimes, you say the wrong thing. Or do the wrong thing. Sometimes, you might be too harsh,  too nice or too sensitive.

Either way, you deserve respect, happiness and safety, as you always have. As you always will.

And I love you unconditionally, past mistakes, stumbles and all.


This post was inspired by Ashley’s letter at Nourishing the Soul and Kendra at Voice in Recovery, who created the self-love letter challenge. I hope you’ll also participate! Check out Kendra’s post for the details!

P.S., Please check out this must-read post from Golda at Body, Love, Wellness.

What will your letter say? How has your body image evolved throughout the years? What about your self-worth? How do you see yourself now?

A Letter Of Self-Love

Margarita Tartakovsky, MS

Margarita is an associate editor at She writes about everything from taking compassionate care of yourself at any weight, shape, and size, to coping healthfully with difficult emotions. Her goal is to give readers practical, empowering tips to better their lives, and to remind you that whatever you're struggling with, you're never, ever alone.

12 comments: View Comments / Leave a Comment



APA Reference
Tartakovsky, M. (2014). A Letter Of Self-Love. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 4, 2020, from


Last updated: 16 Mar 2014
Statement of review: Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network ( prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on All rights reserved.