2 thoughts on “Borderline Personality Disorder: Self-esteem vs Self Destruction

  • August 1, 2012 at 12:26 pm

    Well done. It *does* feel good to just handle something, doesn’t it 🙂

    Reply
  • April 19, 2013 at 9:19 am

    It makes me very happy to see people feeling and enjoying their emotional growth. However, I have to say it is quite funny how the same situationa and the same reaction can be a victory for someone and a defeat for another.

    When I read this story I immediately projected it on myself. If I would have been in your situation I would have taken it down as well, but I would have felt defeated as always.

    I am not borderline (at least not in the classical way), I have PTSD and DDNOS from the traumas I accumulated throughtout my childhood and into adulthood. In short I am a very submissive peron. I give up my desires and needs because I want to please others. I punish myself for every little misunderstanding, with every awkward look or comment I get from others suggesting I didn’t get them correctly. I even panic at the thought that I might have upset someone without noticing. This constant self blame and concern for others at my expense reinforced alot of my traumas and caused them to reoccur.

    Now that I am in therapy and more aware of what I do, I try to stand up for myself whenever I can. So for me the situation you described would have resulted in self blame because I was so dumb to take the book and the icy look in my therapist’s eyes would have been a confirmation of my stupidty. So standing up for myself and not actually taking the book back, or doing so but clearly pointing out her cold way in commanding me, would for my case be considered a victory. While on the other hand, what is a victory in your case is for me just the normal course of events.

    Sorry for the long comment, I just thought it might be interesting to share this :). By the way, thanks for the blog. I love it and it is of great help to me.

    Reply
 

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