9 thoughts on “Borderline Personality Disorder: Emotional Punching Bags

  • April 14, 2012 at 9:14 pm

    At least you recognize your BP tendencies. This is a great step toward getting better. While I have a family member who is a severe BPD and is in denial about her behavior and the impact it has on others, which make her a visitor from hell. I am glad you are working on your difficulties, and hope you get better.

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  • April 15, 2012 at 1:01 am

    Interesting read, Nice to see some people with these issues actually want to work on it and mke it a point to change. I’m in the same boat as the previous comment by psychology911. So this was an interesting read.
    My father is a nutjob. Mental disorder after mental disorder and the only “help” he gets are from painkillers and anti-anxiety meds that knock him out. I cut off contact for because I couldn’t stand it anymore. He contacted me but I never replied. 3 years later, after some more disturbing emails and then his “I’m trying” emails, I agreed to meet up with him for a half hour. I purposely chose somewhere outside and late at night because I didn’t want to be seen in public with him. He’s like a dirty little secret I keep to myself. From the first moment he saw me, one insult after another. His first words were insulting and commented on my weight and the way I was dressed. Everything I said, he’d snap back with another insult. On one hand, I see through it and know it’s his own personal self defense mechanism because of his emotional/mental issues and that his brain just doesn’t work correctly. The other part of me is like..it doesn’t matter what the reason is..I don’t have to deal with it. He’s an ass. I’m so glad we weren’t inside a restaurant or somewhere more public. I don’t need to be humiliated and degraded by anyone. I don’t care we share DNA. At the time, I just got quiet and stood there and then got sarcastic with him and left much earlier than planned. The entire experience sucked the energy out of me the whole next day and I was mad at myself for meeting up with him. In the past, I have pointed out what he does and he sees it and then appologizes but it’s the same thing over and over again. “Sorry, I won’t do it again” doesn’t work when you keep doing it again! He’s like a 5 year old just learning the word “sorry” and thinks it erases everything until next time. Obviously it doesn’t.

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  • April 15, 2012 at 7:42 pm

    I used to be diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorde. And, when I said I was suicidal and I wanted to die, I was not believed. It really is a psychiatric red flag. Now that I think back I really had some of the qualities of a borderliner. But I did not deserve to be treated the way I did from the proffesionals. I was not joking or trying to manipulate them in any way. I was dying inside and all I heard was that I had an attitude. It’s not a good diagnosis to have you are treated very differently with it.

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    • May 30, 2012 at 11:14 am

      Clara, you are so right about this. I’ve heard therapists and caseworkers call people with BPD hopeless cases. That is not fair to the client, to have that mindset. Also, anybody who says they want to kill themselves, believe them! When I was in college a friend of mine said that several times. Eventually, he did it.

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    • December 21, 2012 at 11:18 am

      you are soooo right. It’s like a BPD diagnosis is a death sentence for the entire therapy community. No matter how hard you try, what different ways you use to communicate, you’re not allowed to be a person. Every single word you use is a threat or an insult, even “Thank you”. Or it’s manipulation for you to say, I am sad” to your therapist. How can anyone expect people with this diagnosis to get better if that’s the quality of care they’re willing to give?

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  • May 25, 2012 at 10:26 pm

    Thank you for this series. My former best friend is diagnosed BPD (as well as PTSD) and while having to include the word “former” in that concept still both bewilders me and breaks my heart, reading some of your thoughts are helping me understand just a wee bit better what happened.

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  • October 5, 2012 at 7:23 pm

    I have many diagnosis from bipolar to borderline to Dissociative Identity Disorder. I found myself fearing abandonment (which happens in extreme stress with me) and I added my therapists sister to my facebook which was wrong. I took ownership and responsibility. That being said her sister should not add people she doesnt know. I added her and I met and apologized, deleted her etc..
    Then the therapist says to me that I have a fake facebook account in the name of my current abuser and I am trying to find out information. Guess what I am so hurt. My life has been an open book to her and it took 2 years to get “littles” to trust her and its all gone. Why would I do that and if i wanted informaiton or to make a face account – however one would do that I would not chose a name of someone they would never add as they are my abuser. Therapists sometimes dont treat the borderline right – they fit them into the labelled categories and accuse them of things that just are not true. yes at times I break boundaries but I tell that I do. I was the one two days later that told on myself that I added her sister. Why would I tell on myself if I was not trying to get better. I am feeling hurt.

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  • April 4, 2013 at 3:49 pm

    As a therapist I would like to add that while much of what is written here is valid… no matter what the diagnosis of a client is if they are symptomatic, feel paranoid, threatened and in self defense mode it becomes impossible to work with such a client. At times clients refuse medications for severe debilitating emotional and psychological symptoms. At some point the therapist needs to discontinue the therapeutic process. Its not that clear cut as there is much to discontinuing therapy with a person. It is sad if and when such a decision is made.

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  • August 3, 2014 at 8:02 am

    Thank you to everyone for this discussion site.I’m learning a lot.I was diagnosed in the service with BPD.I’m afraid of that haunting me for the rest of my life.I feel like it some times hinders my productivity in my life.

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