Archives for Mother Nature

Borderline Personality Disorder

When Borderlines and Narcissists Collide


When Borderlines and Narcissists clash, it makes When Worlds Collide look like two butterflies locking wings together in a mid-air prang. As someone diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder I had the misfortune to run up against a Narcissistic Personality Disorder and I would describe the experience like running full speed, head first into a brick wall without a helmet.

For me, it is exceedingly rare to come under the microscopic scrutiny of a dangerous and...
Continue Reading

attachment

Mental Health Day: Borderline Personality Disorder: Email and Text Addiction with your Therapist


Emailing and texting your therapist can be (for some) more addictive than cigarettes, alcohol and drugs.  The reward neurotransmitter dopamine floods your brain and motivates you to do more of the same. This is the same neurotransmitter secreted when you snort cocaine.  Even a simple email exchange can do this for some.  It’s not what drug you take, it’s the effect that drug has on your brain.

Until recently I had full email privileges with my therapist which led to gross...
Continue Reading

attachment

Tattoos -vs- a PhD

I wanted my first-born son to get a PhD and instead he decided to get a tattoo.  I was horrified.  I told this man-child, who not only towers above me but is also turning 18 next month, that the answer was an emphatic no.  Under no circumstances would he ever be allowed to defile his body.  It was a slap in the face of motherhood for me.

I have two boys and a girl and they are so different from...
Continue Reading

Boundaries

Mental Influenza: Borderline Personality Disorder with Acceptance and Mindfulness

For someone was has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, it can take a long time to recover from the anaphylactic shock of raging, damaging emotions that are coursing through our blood when we experience an attack on ourselves.  During this time many physical symptoms of post-rage illness are experienced and this I like to call “mental influenza.”

Even though one can have much insight into the “who, what, where, when, why and how” of the scope, breadth and...
Continue Reading

attachment

My Mother -v- My Therapist: Acceptance and Mindfulness

I have two older women in my life who have both had a major influence over me.  One is my mother, the woman who gave biological life to me; and the other is my therapist, the woman who assisted in my spiritual birth, growth and maturation.

My mother loves me.  She cooks me dinner, buys me Christmas presents, takes me shopping, goes on bike rides and walks around lakes with me, swaps family photos, lends me books and CDs and...
Continue Reading

Boundaries

Wallow, Reflect, Transcend

There’s nothing like a good wallow in the confluence of the sticky mud and muck of our past history and current circumstances.  It’s familiar territory for me whenever personal emotional disaster strikes and I dive head-first and bury myself in the warm, dark underbelly of self-hatred, self-sabotage and sometimes self-destruction.  I slither and slide, turning cartwheels and backflips until I am so immersed in the experience there is almost nothing that can draw me back up to the...
Continue Reading

attachment

The End of Therapy and the Beginning of Life

Letting go of the fantasy of a post-therapy relationship with your beloved therapist means you are ready to move on from the transference.  When your mind starts to shift from an enmeshed relationship with another to a singular meaningful relationship with yourself where the focus is now “me” and not “we” it signals a profound shift in cognitive thinking.

There is much self-examination and reflection and untold pain that comes with this.  Socrates said that the unexamined...
Continue Reading

Boundaries

Turning Shit into Gold

Recently I had to rearrange my headspace and lifestyle because I was getting bent out of shape because of what someone else was doing.  I wasn’t happy with the information I was receiving and it was causing untold grief and obsession within my life.  Luckily for me I was reading “Destructive Emotions,” a dialogue with the Dalai Llama narrated by Daniel Goleman, one of my three favourite Daniels (Stern...
Continue Reading

General

Dancing with Ducks

Life is all about perspective.  It’s not what happens to you or what you do but how you react to it and deal with it.  That is what is important.
Nineteen years ago I had a row with my in-laws just before we went down South for four days before Christmas.  It ruined my holiday.  I could not concentrate, focus nor appreciate the beauty of the scenery, enjoy my husband and our (then) thirteen...
Continue Reading