Self-questioning allows us to use our creativity in order to enhance self-knowledge.
Many of the mistakes we make and the patterns of relating (at times unhealthy) we engage in could more readily be avoided if we paid more attention and were more self-aware.
Many years may pass by without realizing how much easier and better our lives could be if we were willing to face the sometimes ugly reality and step out of the comfort zone. Feeling miserable for instance, despite appearances, can be a learned way of coping with certain situations. Even though feeling miserable is a negative and undesirable emotion, it is also one that can become familiar (especially if faced with it often) and also bring about an unconscious and illusory sense of safety.
This is the reason why it is so important not only to maintain awareness but to also question and make sense of the things we might notice.
Being able to question yourself requires a clear intention to do so and courage to face the often ugly reality around. It requires making a conscious decision to invest some time and attention into yourself and a mind open to new perspectives. Finally, curiosity is the engine that drives the motivation to seek self knowledge and understanding. Unfortunately, over time and with a lack of outside support (social environment) we sometimes stop being curious; it can be because we fear what we might see or maybe simply because it doesn’t occur to us that we do have the ability to understand the patterns we engage in and make changes where there are issues.
When we don’t question, we close a blind eye at the solution to the very issues we encounter.
“Why” is a question that many avoid to ask (particularly in therapy), being regarded as defensiveness inducing; and it can be, depending on the tone and attitude of the one asking it. Other times we genuinely don’t know the answer to “why” and that’s okay, too. The objective is not to come up with an answer as fast as you can, rather to bring yourself into a place where you feel comfortable to seek clarity by means of self-questioning. Sometimes, “why” and “how” are central questions to those successful in their self-knowledge process.