I write a lot about accepting your place in life, as both someone with a mental illness and as a young professional and I find that the advice I try to give with my essays pertains particularly well to my own situation.
I struggle with things. I struggle with the fact that I have a mental illness that prevents me from doing some things I’d like to do, and I struggle with the fact that it’s so hard to make a living as a mental health writer.
It feels like I have to scrape and claw my way to being able to pay my bills for the month.
It’s hard for any writer out there but it’s especially hard for someone who can’t put too much on their plate for fear of experiencing symptoms related to their illness.
The point is, I’m trying my best and I know I have to take it easy on myself if I want to be well but I just want the things that I want so bad that it’s hard to put the brakes on.
I guess it’s a problem with patience. I have a hard time being patient when it comes to opportunities. I have hard time wrapping my head around the fact that you have to build a life for yourself slowly and steadily, you have to keep adding stones day by day.
Maybe it’s a problem with the internet and the instant gratification of things paying off the moment you put something out there.
The point I’m trying to make is that, and this is advice for myself as well, you have to be patient and you have to be ok with the way things are right now if you want to have any hope for not driving yourself crazy.
Patience is a hard one but it’s necessary, patience is learning to quell the electric impulse in your gut that tells you to push and push and push. It’s the tamping down of the frustration you feel when you put something into the world and nobody pays attention.
I think though, and this relates to the acceptance thing, that you have to come to terms with the frustration and the best way to do that is to accept it and make detours or find alternatives.
You have to actually sit down with yourself and say to yourself, I accept that I’m not where I want to be, I accept that in order for me to be where I want to be I have to risk making myself sick with stress.
After you realize the extent of the sacrifices you have to make you have to decide if it’s worth it to you to do what you have to do in order to get the things that you want. If it’s not, then it’s time to find alternatives. It’s time to find other options that will quell the intolerable anxiety that claws at you.
Being ok with your life is essential and I’m still trying to figure it out myself.
I’ve heard that this insatiable desire for more calms down with age and if that’s the case then I’m more than willing to grow older.