My Challenges With Psychiatric Medicine Compliance

I am doing well on my medications. I have not been hospitalized since 2005. I rarely have any psychotic symptoms. I have not been manic in years. My mood is generally fine. Once in a blue moon, I will have hypomania and on occasion, I have mild depressions. Anxiety is one thing I have not completely tackled, but it is better. You would think I would not be tempted to stop something that is working so well, but that is the nature of the illness When I am well, I wonder if I really need the medication. They all seem to have side effects of some kind. And they can be costly.

13 reasons why

Suicidal Thoughts, Depression and 13 Reasons Why

I watched “13 Reasons Why” recently and it got me thinking about my own suicidal thoughts.

(I am trying not to spoil it too much, but if you are waiting to watch it you may want to hold off reading)

I was an unhappy teen and had some suicidal thoughts but they were passing and I never acted on them.

I have only had one time where I had a plan. It wasn’t very long ago. I had a...


Distorted Thinking and Urges for Alcohol

I have abstained from drinking alcohol for 6 months. Day to day, I rarely think about it. I go to weekly meetings and have tools. But, occasionally I get tempted. I went to a restaurant where the drinks were flowing and they looked good. But, I just looked. Then, I got an annual review at work. It was mostly good, but I focused on the negative comments. It upset me and I felt sad. I came home and I had a strong desire to have a drink to numb my emotions. But, I did something else. I distracted myself. My son had a concert and then I kept myself busy until I fell asleep. I made it to another day.


Creativity, Mood Disorders and Medication

It has been noted that there seems to be a correlation between mood disorders and creativity. Many great artists, poets, writers, musicians have been troubled with mental health issues.: Ernest Hemingway, Carrie Fisher, Kurt Cobain, to name a few. Jim Phelps, M.D. writes on his website how some evolutionary biologists believe that there is an advantage to having a small dose of bipolar genes (similar to having a trait), advantages like: creativity, courage, productivity. 1 The idea of having a bipolar trait is one theory.


Dealing With Mental Illness Diagnosis Changing To More Severe

I saw a woman today. She was quite distressed. Her diagnosis had been changed from bipolar1 to schizoaffective disorder and she was afraid. Afraid that she would relive her darkest days. Afraid that things would not get better. Afraid she would have more severe symptoms. It brought me back to a similar time in my past when my diagnosis also was changed from bipolar1 to schizoaffective disorder. For me, schizoaffective had always been questioned as something to rule-out, so it wasn’t a total shock. Still, I was confused. How could it have been wrong?


Stages of Change in Recovery from Alcohol Addiction

There are a number of stages one goes through when recovering from an addictive behavior. 1. Pre-contemplation – at this stage one is unaware of any problems. Others may point them out, but you have no interest in changing. 2. Contemplation- At this stage one is aware of the problem, but not sure how to change. You may be thinking about changing but ambivalent. 3. Preparation- You develop a plan to change behavior. 4. Action- Modify behavior to put plan into action 5. Maintenance-Able to stick with new behavior with minimum effort and strong commitment 6. (Termination)- In some recovery programs they have a step where you have completed and no longer have the addictive behavior. (Relapse)-relapse may happen at any time. It is common, but not everyone has a relapse. A relapse is when you revert to the addictive behavior. Image from SMART Recovery On-line