Today I love my irreverent mind and the way it walks that fine line between just irreverent enough, and irreverent to the point of inappropriate. I love that I know where that line is, having crossed it a few more times than I would have liked in my life. I love knowing why that has happened and not having to make excuses for myself even though I will often apologize and do so sincerely and honestly. I love that among my friends, my irreverence is appreciated … well, tolerated well and sometimes with laughter. I love that I am sober and have been for over 35 years. I love that I am reminded every day that I am sober by choice and that I am still an alcoholic, I know this from my desire to drink that has not been quenched by time any more than it was by drinking. I love that I have won every skirmish with alcoholism thus far and intend to continue to win them daily. I love that I was able to salvage a great deal of my brain, and I love imagining what more I could have done if I’d saved all of it from the ravages of that alcoholic wildfire of my teens and young adult life. I love that I am still here, still standing, still alive and lively. I love that I will win because I enjoy my life, love my life with a passion that is now grown to be a greater inferno of hope and power than ever my disease could have hoped to be.
Today I love August’s gentle breath of midsummer sweetness. I love these days that see the land grow into the bounty that it knows is its promise and destiny. I love how Summer’s dress is a contrast of greens and golds, unlike Spring’s attire which is a golden green that blends. I love that August’s pallet is a swirl of colours that prepare us for Autumn’s beautiful, bright splotches of rushed browns and reds and golds and even shades of black.
Today I love banana bread, especially the stuff I make. I love that I am not sorry about raving of my own skills, for this is the worlds best banana bread and there is no reason to be coy or shy about it. I love baking and cooking and when I have the energy I make the time to enjoy it. I love adventures and experiments in the kitchen and I hope I always get to do that. I love that I am willing to admit the unlikelihood of this, but I do hope that I am the first human to live forever, even in the pain I’m in.
Today I love drinking coffee and eating the world’s best banana bread as compensation for slaving away in the kitchen making banana bread … oh, forgot I already told you I love doing that; oh well.