Today I love my father who taught me many things. I love that we did so much together when I was younger. I love that though we did not always agree we never stopped discussing things unless they were completely talked out and even then we never stopped talking, ’cause there were more things we needed to agree or disagree on yet. I love that there are still things yet to come that we would have to have discussed, but I will have to assume that he would see things my way from now on because I am now the keeper of our discussions and he is gone on and left me to form his opinions here without him. I love that we will get to say goodbye to him today, and I love that though we will only hear his parting response in our hearts, it will be the loudest and warmest goodbye because we will be helping him say it. I love that I hate goodbyes, but that that hating tells me how much I loved the man and how much I will miss him. I love that I can now put to rest the burden of worrying about him and his health.
Today I love this foggy morning. I love that I wake up every day to the alarm clock and just get up, even though I have, at this time, no set schedule to adhere to. I love that though the alarm goes off at a different time each morning, it gives my days a loose and wonky structure that I can count on and yet not really ever get quite completely used to. I love letting my life be what it is and finding the best way through it to the good parts each day. I love lunch time when we get to come back together as a household and I love how that happens almost every day.
Today I love leftover rhubarb pie. I love steering the dragon boat and listening to self important people on shore telling me I have the easy job. I love hanging with my people and realizing what an eclectic group they are, realizing how high my standards are and yet how much they are based on an individual’s capacity for compassion and understanding, never on their faith or their melanin or their origin. I love that I love people based not on where they came from but more on who they are and how they became who they are.
Today I love drinking coffee and contemplating my words of goodbye on this day of parting, this day when I will be saying, “Goodbye, old man. I’ll miss you.”