snow in the back yard

Snowy yet spring like …

Today I love being confident, though confidence for me is twenty parts surety and eighty parts bravado, that’s the formula for loving life. I love that the bravado is the curtain behind which lurks adventures. I love that the surety is what I get to lie back on and gather strength from when I need to push myself into an adventure. I love that in my mind there is often negotiations that include values like how much I might enjoy something and how much those around me might enjoy that as well. I love that these negotiations have taken on a new dimension as I have resolved to be the adventurer and so I dig deeply for reasons to move forward instead of reasons to stand still and I weight these reasons accordingly and I realize I’ve always been weighting them, I’ve just been weighting them with timidity for so many years. I love that I am still the same old me, well, the same me but older, and I think perhaps wiser, or intent on becoming wiser. I love that there is always going to be a horizon beyond which I cannot see, but if I have my way that horizon will be receding and I will get to see over today’s horizon tomorrow, and tomorrow’s horizon on the next day.

Today I love that there is snow again. I love that there are birds singing. I love that the urban wildlife in my neighborhood is up and awake and romping about. I love that we are clearly in for a long, soft, and mostly open spring and that I have resigned myself to how hard that will be on local agriculture, and have resolved to enjoy the weather because, as I’m always telling the grumblers, if you don’t like the weather, don’t complain about it, do something about it. I love that no one has ever asked me what to do when I say that. I love that I have an answer for them should they ever ask.

Today I love that there will soon be a light in the family room ceiling where there was not one before. I love that the family room is rather small but yesterday I decided to call it the great room and I think I’m going to go with that because it’s such a ridiculous name and gives the room an air of importance commensurate with its frequency of use. I love silly names, which may be why I have never been allowed to name anyone’s child … yet.

Today I love drinking coffee in the great room on a slightly cold and snowy, spring like day.