4 thoughts on “Are You Uncomfortable Getting Gifts?

  • January 1, 2019 at 1:49 pm

    I believe my mother was a narcissist, and my twin sisters. At one time or another I have given them gifts, nothing bizarre, but useful and not cheap. One sister never thanked me or brought it up, having mailed it, I ask her if she received it, she gave me a tongue lashing and told me it was a crummy gift. The gift to my mother years ago, she threw aside, later, months later I ask her how she liked her gift, she flipped out yelling at me, and stated she couldn’t remember where she put it. I found it in an odd place hidden, never opened or used. What does this behavior imply? It’s as if they showed disdain for having gotten the gift.
    Sincerely,
    Puzzled

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  • January 31, 2019 at 3:20 pm

    I hate waste, and I have too much stuff already. The last thing I want is more stuff, and it genuinely makes me unhappy to be given more stuff that I don’t really need or want. It causes a huge amount of tension between me and my wife, who insists on getting me a physical gift every year for my birthday/Christmas/Father’s Day etc (always something I don’t really want or need), even though I keep telling her that what would really make me happy is if she gets me nothing, and we just do something fun as a family.

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  • April 11, 2019 at 8:19 pm

    Receiving any sort of gift (or help) makes me horribly uncomfortable, as I was raised by a narcissist and I always feel as though I must pay the person back in some way or suffer the (percieved) consequences. (Judgement, cold shoulder, loss of friendship ect) I feel as though I do not deserve anything that I haven’t directly worked for, and even then I feel guilty about it. I don’t celebrate my birthday, and christmas makes me feel terrible anxiety.

    I love the idea of giving gifts, but I get anxious over thinking it’s not good enough. This is the worst on Christmas, especially if the giftee has gotten me a gift that is worth more.

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  • June 5, 2019 at 12:16 am

    First of all I am very fortunate to be able to afford to buy myself just about anything I want. And I generally don’t want a lot of things but the things I do want are usually gadgets and I like to buy them for myself. Unfortunately nobody else really gets what it is I want. If they would only ask. I also feel that when it comes to my kids giving me gifts they shouldn’t be spending their money on me. I recently got a gift from my two sons of two hours of photography lessons with a professional photographer. First of all there’s not a lot you can learn in two hours and second of all I’m very happy with the pictures I take and I’m really not interested in learning anything further. And if I am I can find it on YouTube or somewhere else on the Internet. For free. On the other hand I would’ve loved two hours of cooking lessons… so it’s so not so much getting the gift in general but getting a specific gift that was poorly chosen. And yet how do you tell somebody “I don’t want this.” Fortunately the professional photographer was not available for five months and I was able to get a refund so the kids didn’t spend their money for naught. I just wish people wouldn’t give me things and now I have indicated that I no longer want any gifts for any occasion and I think they understand that that is my wish.

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