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4 Comments to
The Blame Game: Dealing With A Help-Rejecting Complainer

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  1. This perfectly describes my ex-husband. This behavior kept him from having to work in therapy or take any responsibly for the difficulties we were having.

    • Yes, me too. Its the first time ive been able to read the exact description-how i wish id had an ‘explanation’ years ago instead of spending my life trying to help and deal with this person. However level and positive a person you start out its very hard to stay that way. It ended very badly. Lets help more people by realising it wasnt our fault.

  2. This behaviour is an infantile form of communication the person has unfortunately internalized a negative dissatisfied view from a parent (usually their mother).
    They end up superimposing it onto every aspect of their life.

    Its so frustrating and stressful to stay connected and engaged with someone with this type of habitual complaining behaviour but what they are actually trying to communicate is…”my mother didn’t love me”

  3. What techniques should a therapist use? Never had heard the term until today but know someone who is in this exact situation and has been for a long time. They’re on disability for depression/anxiety and also are dealing with a lot of medical problems. No therapist has been able to help them and this might explain why…Friends also get frustrated and eventually leave and the ‘help rejecting complainer’ who really is a great, smart, nice person outside of these issues, is left holding the bag and worse than he started


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