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Blame On The Train


Does it seem like some people people reflexively blame others for everything, including their very own, personal states of mind?

I generally listen to talks or read while I’m on the train, but I had a little headache so I just sat and meditated.

About twenty minutes into my ride, two people in their mid-to-late twenties sat down on a seat right in front of me. They began a conversation about one of their parents. Then they discussed the other’s teachers (it sounded like they were graduate students). Then both started in on their roommates.

I tried to tune them out, but couldn’t. Despite my best efforts to not listen to them, I heard a good part of what they were discussing.

Their conclusion? Every negative feeling they had was the fault of someone else.

Now, sometimes it is important to vent. And it’s important to validate people’s feelings.

But it’s also important to take responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings, too.

Your thoughts and feelings are your inner landscape. They are your reality. They are the one domain you have true control over (since you usually cannot change other people.)

Blame On The Train

Richard Zwolinski, LMHC, CASAC & C.R. Zwolinski

Richard Zwolinski, LMHC, CASAC is the author of Therapy Revolution: Find Help, Get Better, and Move On Without Wasting Time or Money and is licensed in addiction and psychotherapy with over 25 years experience as well as a consultant to organizations and companies in the fields of mental health and addiction. He is the executive director of an outpatient behavioral health program. Learn more about Richard here.

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APA Reference
& C.R. Zwolinski, R. (2016). Blame On The Train. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 23, 2018, from


Last updated: 4 May 2016
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 4 May 2016
Published on All rights reserved.