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♥Thinking About Marriage? 7 Meaningful Rules Of Engagement

812211_52277831Thinking about getting engaged?

Here are seven rules to keep in mind through your wedding day (and beyond):

♥Cultivate Awareness. Treasure the moments. Enjoy the process. Being engaged and planning a wedding are one of the most exciting times in your life. Feel it!

♥Before you tie the knot, discuss what constitutes loyalty—and betrayal—in a marriage. Make sure you are in agreement (at least mostly).  (See Discuss Betrayal BEFORE You Get Married).

♥Don’t forget others. It feels like you two are the center of the Universe. And that’s how you both should feel for now. But don’t forget family and friends who want to be part of your joy. It’s not “all about me” even though it might feel that way.

♥Don’t get bogged down in the things that don’t really matter. When the florist delivers crimson centerpieces instead of pale pink; when the caterer burns the main course; when your budget crimps your style; when your future sibling-in-law refuses to dress up; remember: The wedding is one day, the marriage is forever (with a bit of hard work and blessing). One solution: Look at the wedding itself with an artistic, freedom-loving eye–and give yourself a lot of “be flexible” self-talk.

♥Preparing for marriage is  at least as  more important than planning your wedding. Yes, a celebration is an important part of marking a new beginning. But now is the time for you and your partner to talk about really big stuff, like how you’ll resolve disagreements, what role will spirituality have in your home and your lives, how you will cope with changes, etc. The day two souls become one is an experience you’ll never forget, especially if you make it last.

♥Money. Talk about it. Now. Get it on the table. That way there’ll be no surprises. It doesn’t matter if you’ve known your future spouse for 6 years or 6 months.

♥Remember: Love is a verb. It requires action. The feeling of love doesn’t mean all that much if it only resides in your heart. Action counts. Show your future spouse, family and friends that you love them with meaningful action.


♥Thinking About Marriage? 7 Meaningful Rules Of Engagement

Richard Zwolinski, LMHC, CASAC & C.R. Zwolinski

Richard Zwolinski, LMHC, CASAC is the author of Therapy Revolution: Find Help, Get Better, and Move On Without Wasting Time or Money and is licensed in addiction and psychotherapy with over 25 years experience as well as a consultant to organizations and companies in the fields of mental health and addiction. He is the executive director of an outpatient behavioral health program. Learn more about Richard here.

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APA Reference
& C.R. Zwolinski, R. (2014). ♥Thinking About Marriage? 7 Meaningful Rules Of Engagement. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 18, 2019, from


Last updated: 11 Feb 2014
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