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Do We Love Backwards?

A friend shares her thoughts:

There are two basic views of what love is:

1. Love is a feeling.

2. Love is something you do.

If you want to “fall” in love, feel “lovesick,” feel “crazy” with love, than be prepared for the possibility that this kind of “love” might not last.

If you want to commit to another, give to another, and take care of another, without focusing intensely on what you’ll get in return, your chances of love lasting will be far higher.

In Western culture, love precedes relationship/marriage. In other cultures, marriage precedes love. If two like minds share similar values, beliefs, and goals, it is easier for love to grow.

For many, the slower love grows the longer it burns.

Do We Love Backwards?

Richard Zwolinski, LMHC, CASAC & C.R. Zwolinski

Richard Zwolinski, LMHC, CASAC is the author of Therapy Revolution: Find Help, Get Better, and Move On Without Wasting Time or Money and is licensed in addiction and psychotherapy with over 25 years experience as well as a consultant to organizations and companies in the fields of mental health and addiction. He is the executive director of an outpatient behavioral health program. Learn more about Richard here.

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APA Reference
& C.R. Zwolinski, R. (2011). Do We Love Backwards?. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 24, 2018, from


Last updated: 14 Feb 2011
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 14 Feb 2011
Published on All rights reserved.