advertisement
Communication

Spiritual Counseling & The Plain-Vanilla Viewpoint

Sometimes people, including psychologists and social workers, believe that they have an unbiased, base-line or "plain vanilla" point of view. It can be very difficult for someone who aligns with the prevailing societal point of view (whether secular or religious, depending on the prevailing culture) to understand that this is an actual viewpoint and not a kind of neutral baseline.

There are some beliefs that we assume are universal truths, when, in fact, they are not....


Communication

Conflicts–Is Fighting Dirty Okay?

C.R. writes: In Do We Attract Conflict and Intolerance we got a few comments and one angry email.

Baseball 55 wrote: I know a woman who always complains about this ***  she encountered and that *** she encountered. I finally asked her, why is it that you encounter all these *** and I never do?

She had no idea what I meant. I explained to her that she was often needlessly provocative and argumentative. But she just couldn’t see it. She just thought she was right and others were wrong, so got caught up in a lot of conflict. I find it sad. While it’s true that this may be her “comfort zone,” it makes her unhappy and angry most of the time. And deprives her of friends. I know, I just can’t deal with her anymore.


In other words, Baseball 55 confirms that in this particular experience, he notices that a former friend is always spoiling for a fight--and


anxiety

Do We Attract Conflict & Intolerance?

CR writes: I got a call awhile ago that really made me think. It was from someone I love very much. She's having a hard time with various people. Individuals and groups.

The truth is, she really was a target of their outrage. Some of this happened on social media, some via phone. It was because they were associating her with a concept they are against.

It was painful to hear about this because it hurt her, and I didn't want her to be hurt.

Yet, at the same time I've known her for years, and I've heard many times her knee-jerk attack of others for their beliefs, affiliations, and so on.