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Archives for Externalising

Anger

What Is Anger Trying To Tell You About Your Life?


Anger. It’s got a pretty bad reputation. And we’re often told what to do with it: be careful with it. Suppress it. Vent it. Override it. It’s like anger’s some kind of volatile, toxic force to be harnessed or defused.

But maybe there’s another way of looking at it altogether.

Maybe you can actually learn from anger. Listen to it. See what it has to tell you. Get curious about it.

The...
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Boundaries

Boundaries, Safety and Deadwood in Relationships (Part 2)

In Part 1 of this post, we looked at the concept of safety in relationships, and drawing a boundary around the damaging behaviour in them (the axe in the forest).

So what about your relationship with your self? Are there parts of that relationship that are potentially damaging to you, too? Parts where you’re sharpening your own blade against yourself?

Are there thoughts you catch yourself thinking that seem to do more harm than...
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Anger

Who’s Behind the Wheel? Emotions, Actions and Decisions in Life


Stuck in traffic on my way home the other day, I could feel the frustration building, when I happened to spot a taxi with “Your Driver” painted boldly on the door right under the driver’s window.

It made me wonder about who my driver was at that moment… me or the frustration.

So I wonder, on the road you’re travelling, who is your driver when things get tricky or tough?
Who gets behind the wheel at difficult times?
Does it...
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Externalising

Passion Thieves – and How to Stop Them

This sign is supposed to be about protecting your material possessions. Yet the deft work of someone’s pen has opened up a whole new meaning here…

Passion theft.

And with that notion, the one of passion thieves - and what they might look like - and how to stop them.

The whole thing reminds me of a technique which is often used in narrative therapy: externalising.

Externalising is the (strangely revolutionary) idea that you...
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