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Archives for Defences

Black and White Thinking

You Are Not Your Thoughts: A Personal Philosophy Of Mind


I have a love-hate relationship with one of the major therapies endorsed by psychology today: cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT).

Both as a therapist, and as a client, I know it can work. It can bring fast relief in acute times. So it's a good thing to have in your inner toolbox when you're working with the challenges life can throw you.

In a (very small) nutshell, CBT asks you to question...
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Anger

What Is Anger Trying To Tell You About Your Life?


Anger. It’s got a pretty bad reputation. And we’re often told what to do with it: be careful with it. Suppress it. Vent it. Override it. It’s like anger’s some kind of volatile, toxic force to be harnessed or defused.

But maybe there’s another way of looking at it altogether.

Maybe you can actually learn from anger. Listen to it. See what it has to tell you. Get curious about it.

The...
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Beginnings

Dismantling Your Walls And Inviting Your Dreams In


I couldn’t help but smile when I walked past this building in my neighbourhood recently. There’s something beautifully absurd about a sign announcing “OFFICE” above a doorway that’s then been completely bricked-in. I wonder if they get much business…?

Yet what’s not so funny is how you might be doing this to yourself, to your life, at times. How you might be walling-off the very opportunities or happenings you’d like to take...
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Boundaries

Who Do You Let In? Defining Your Boundaries And Staying Safe But Not Isolated.


I had a set of spare keys cut yesterday, so I can store them at a friend's place in case I lock myself out. And it got me

What about the keys to your internal spaces?

The keys to your thoughts, your dreams? Your ups your downs? Your emotional and psychological home. How many people in your life have access to the inner sanctum of youWho's got keys?

It's worth having a...
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Boundaries

Setting Boundaries: How Mending Your (De)fences Can Keep Your Relationships Healthy

A couple of years ago, the house I live in was broken into, and some personal things were stolen. The person (or people) who did this got in through the back door. And the thing that made it that much easier for them was that the back gate to the property didn't quite shut properly.

I’d known about this for some time, but somehow the fencing never seemed a priority to fix – until...
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