Archives for Boundaries

Boundaries

Mindfulness And Multitasking: Can You Do Both At Once?


Well, how did that happen? It’s February already…

So maybe you’re already right back into the swing of things, drawn back to the thousand appointments and meetings and obligations calling your name - just like all these little Post-it notes stuck to the window in the photo, above, practically obscuring the person who put them there.

All that stuff that wants to be done. Now. (Or maybe even wanted to be done...
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acceptance

You Are Not A Machine: Remembering To Relax And Replenish


You are not a machine.

You’re mortal. Organic. You don’t come in a shape that will always easily slot into all the timetables and schedules and systems that beckon.

That's probably no surprise. (And yet how many demands do you put on yourself sometimes?)

So there might be times when you can’t “keep on keeping on,” or where maybe you don’t always have the energy to “push on through.” Where it’s not always so...
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Boundaries

Who Do You Let In? Defining Your Boundaries And Staying Safe But Not Isolated.


I had a set of spare keys cut yesterday, so I can store them at a friend's place in case I lock myself out. And it got me

What about the keys to your internal spaces?

The keys to your thoughts, your dreams? Your ups your downs? Your emotional and psychological home. How many people in your life have access to the inner sanctum of youWho's got keys?

It's worth having a...
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Boundaries

Boundaries, Safety and Deadwood in Relationships (Part 2)

In Part 1 of this post, we looked at the concept of safety in relationships, and drawing a boundary around the damaging behaviour in them (the axe in the forest).

So what about your relationship with your self? Are there parts of that relationship that are potentially damaging to you, too? Parts where you’re sharpening your own blade against yourself?

Are there thoughts you catch yourself thinking that seem to do more harm than...
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Boundaries

Boundaries, Safety and Deadwood in Relationships (Part 1)

I took this photo many years ago, in Germany, where the woodpiles are stacked high in preparation for long, cold winters.

This particular scene was in a forest, with the cut, dead wood being framed by the living. It reminded me of a powerful saying:
When the axe came into the forest,
the trees said,
‘The handle is one of us’.
It’s pretty chilling…

And it seems to outline the dangers of putting loyalty before safety;...
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Boundaries

Learning How to Say ‘NO’

This collage of 'no's was collected on a very short walk around the suburb this morning, so it seems like there’s no shortage of ways to say it.

So why is it so hard sometimes?

For such a little word, it can seem like quite a big one…

Sometimes, in an effort to ‘get along’ or be polite or to smooth things over, we can find ourselves saying yes to all sorts of things we’d rather not...
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Boundaries

Growing a Garden of Individuality and Togetherness

If you’re into gardening at all, you’ll probably know that although plants like to grow alongside one another and create a supportive ‘microclimate’ together, they still need their own space.

Even at the time of seed planting, if you want to give them an optimum chance to flourish, you’ll need to include a certain distance between them.

Planted too close, and they can start to...
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Boundaries

Setting Boundaries: How Mending Your (De)fences Can Keep Your Relationships Healthy

A couple of years ago, the house I live in was broken into, and some personal things were stolen. The person (or people) who did this got in through the back door. And the thing that made it that much easier for them was that the back gate to the property didn't quite shut properly.

I’d known about this for some time, but somehow the fencing never seemed a priority to fix – until...
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