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Archives for June, 2011


Getting the Love You Want: Interview with Harville Hendrix (Part 2)

Welcome to Part 2 of this interview with Dr Harville Hendrix, co-founder of Imago Relationship Therapy and internationally renowned bestselling author of “Getting the Love You Want.”

See if you can find any parts of yourself in what he’s talking about here…

Dr Hendrix, you’ve said that people in love are masters of projection. So do you think it’s possible for us to ever really see the other person? Or, even...
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Getting the Love You Want: Interview with Harville Hendrix (Part 1)

I thought I’d offer you something a little different this week, something else for your inner therapist to ponder.

Not so long ago, I had the privilege of interviewing Dr Harville Hendrix, co-founder of Imago Relationship Therapy and internationally renowned bestselling author of “Getting the Love You Want.” In that book, Dr Hendrix writes “We are born in relationship, we are wounded in relationship, and we can be healed in relationship.”

According to Imago...
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Accepting The Paradoxical Theory Of Change: How Welcoming Pain Can Heal It

What happens when sadness comes to visit you?
Or anger? Or regret? Or pain?

Do you try to shut the door in their face? Maybe batten down the hatches, or head into your bunker and wait things out, until (you hope) they stop knocking.

It can be easy to want to resist feeling these things when they turn up in your life – after all, they hurt (and who wants that?).

But sometimes resisting them, or...
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What if it’s Already All Inside You? Perfect Imperfection and the Art of Letting Go

It’s winter here in Australia, but the fern in my garden doesn’t care. It’s putting out another new frond, unfurling, unfolding, even though it’s cold and the sun’s not out.

And the thing with these larger ferns is that, if you look closely, it’s as if you can see the whole frond already in there, just wrapped tight and waiting. Waiting for the plant to let go. To uncurl. All the fern has...
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What To Do When You’re At The End Of Your Tether

Hope turns up in the strangest places sometimes.
And sometimes you really need it to.

At the end of your tether, strung out, sometimes it’s hard to know what you’re supposed to do to make it through even just another day.

Today, I spied a mini-message of hope, stuck onto the bottom of a traffic sign in my neighbourhood, underneath a scrawled texta heart (that’s it in the photo). The whole thing was only a...
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Building Equality in Your Relationships

Just a small change can make a big difference.
Once just a “no stopping” traffic sign, the whole message here in the photo has been changed by someone’s sticker. Now it’s all about equality*.

So what does equality mean to you in your life?
What does it actually look like?
And are your relationships places where you feel like that stuff happens?

Just take a moment to ponder:

Your relationships with family members
With friends
With your partner/s
With work colleagues

And what about...
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Existential Issues

Stuff, Starve or Savor? Your Relationship to Food (and Life)

How do you relate to food?

Do you deny yourself certain things because you feel you ‘should’?
Or splurge without limits?
Do you plan ahead, create gourmet experiences or just go with whatever’s on hand?
Do you tend to graze on autopilot?
Or maybe you eat ‘sensibly’ in public and then binge a bit when you’re alone (possibly with a double-helping of regret as the final course).

The reason I ask is because of an idea that...
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Addictions, Experiments and Spirituality: Swap Your Cravings for Life

Why is this photo of a beach scene here, you might wonder. What’s that got to do with addictions?

It’s a good question.

(And the answer is even better).

For at a recent therapy workshop, Australian psychotherapist and addictions specialist Peter Harris noted that in his experience:
“The best solution for any addiction is a rich life.”
It’s pretty profound…

So when he’s working with people who have addictions like gambling, he might suggest running a...
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