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Archives for April, 2011


Feeling Stuck? Getting Off The Treadmill And Back Onto The Road Ahead

Have you felt stuck lately? Going ‘round in circles? Trapped on a treadmill? Caught in a vicious cycle?

There are so many ways of describing this kind of experience.

And so many ways to get caught up in it.

Lured by the daily grind of repeated schedules or habits, it can be easy to feel your whole life is stuck on repeat… like you’re locked into an endless loop. So you scroll around to...
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Mindfulness And The Lost Art Of Finding Yourself

Where in the world are you? Right now. Not just where your thoughts are but where you are…

And how long is it since you’ve actually gone in search of yourself?

In the busy-ness of the everyday, we can sometimes feel scattered all over the place by the habit of multi-tasking and the ‘need’ to be in at least two places at once. Sort of being everywhere. And yet nowhere.

And somewhere along the line, maybe...
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Change Your Thoughts and Free Your Soul: CBT and the Wisdom of the Ages


How often do you hear yourself thinking this?

Or does this kind of thought feel a bit out of place in your mind? Like it sort of doesn’t belong there. Doesn’t sit comfortably.

(Maybe you’re more used to being visited by its darker twin: “you can’t”…)

Either way, if Henry Ford (1863-1947) was right,
“Whether you think that you can,
or that you can't,
you are usually right.”
What if that's...
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Rebalance Your Negativity Bias And Take A Walk On The Well Side

Wellbeing is at the heart of everything,” suggested this billboard as I wandered past recently.

Or is it?

What about in your life? Where does wellbeing feature in your scheme of things? On your list of priorities? (Or maybe it doesn’t quite make it onto that list?)

It can be so easy in life (and in therapy) to focus on the ‘negative’ side – the heartache, the pain, the frustrations, the angst. To notice what’s...
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Problems, Puzzles or Paradoxes: How Do You Define Life’s Challenges?

It’s amazing how powerful words can be. For language is not only a kind of tool to help us communicate and describe, it also – sometimes inadvertently – helps shape our whole world, both internal and external. It sets our definitions. It highlights what we see. (And it can mask what we don’t…).

So how do you use yours?
Your language.
Your words.

When life’s challenges come your way, how do you find the words to...
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Self-Directed Neuroplasticity: Mindfulness, Therapy and Sculpting the Self

How often have you heard someone say, “It’s just the way I am”?
Or, “It’s just who I am.”

Maybe defending themselves somehow.
Or limiting their options in some way.
Or undermining a sense of self-esteem.

And how often have you been the one saying it?
(Or maybe even just thinking it).

It can certainly seem that way sometimes – that we just ‘are who we are’ and there’s no getting around it. That we’re immutable, static, solid. (Stuck?)

Yet there’s...
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How Can Anger Help You Live A More Meaningful Life?

Ever noticed that ‘anger’ is contained in the word ‘danger’?

(That’s actually what the sign in this photograph says).

And it’s often how anger’s treated – like a ‘dangerous’ emotion. Volatile. Caustic. Like it might lead us to act impulsively or say things we might later regret, or to feel things we ‘shouldn’t’ feel.

So maybe you were taught to suppress it. Stifle it. Avoid it. Perhaps to secretly seethe with it on the inside but...
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How Your Relationships Shape You: Neuroscience, Therapy And Mind

“Intersections” – our days seem full of them. Places where our lives overlap with one another, where there’s a merging of the paths we’re on, where we converge in relationship, and maybe even share a meeting of the minds.

It all sounds a bit metaphorical…

But it turns out that on another level, it’s uncannily real. For neuroscience is finding that “relationships are not just what we do – they shape who we become”...
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Self-Care and Survival: Getting Through the Tough Times

Walking home the other evening, some melancholy thoughts on my mind, I happened upon this rhyme stuck to the wall of a building:
Roses are Red,
Violets aren’t Blue,
Smile, it will get
you through

And (even though it’s a little kitschy) it did make me smile. Pulled me out of those thoughts and back into the world. Connected me in some intangible way to the person who had mysteriously felt compelled to share their...
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Are You Hiding From Death? And What Is It Costing You?

I just bought this bunch of everlasting daisies from the cemetery florist. It seems more than a little ironic… For wandering between the old, sunken headstones out here, the knowledge of the temporary nature of things – of life – sinks in a little deeper.

How we like to forget this… to remain hidden from it in the everyday. Shielded. If you believed the stronger messages and myths that our (western) society spins, you’d...
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