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Applying the 5 Love Languages to Self-Love: How to Love Yourself

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Imagine how you treat yourself on a daily basis as if you were another person, in a relationship with you.  

Are you good to yourself?  Is your mind kind to your body and soul? 

In my practice and my own psycho-spiritual journey, I see that at times we all:

  • Beat ourselves up with cruel self-talk
  • Set ourselves up for failure with unrealistic expectations
  • Deprive ourselves of things we deserve through self-sabotaging behaviors
  • Abuse our bodies through neglect or harmful choices

These behaviors wreak havoc on our mental and physical health, our relationships, and our careers. We must choose a different path.

After 20 years of counseling individuals and couples, as well as doing my own inner work, I’ve come to believe that perhaps our greatest life lesson is learning how to fully accept and love ourselves.

For only when we are truly aligned with our own beautiful and unique spirit, can we completely and authentically give and receive real love. This is because when we love ourselves we know that we can give without becoming resentful, exhausted and depleted, and we can receive because we know we deserve it. Self-love is the prerequisite for complete immersion in the abundant flow of light and love in the world around us.

But how does one love oneself?

In The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, he identifies the five ways in which we can give and receive love. Below, these languages are applied to self-love with practical suggestions:

1. Words of Affirmation: Think Self-Love

2. Acts of Service: Do Self-Love

3. Receiving Gifts: Absorb Self-Love

4. Quality Time: Be Present with Self-Love

5. Physical Touch: Feel Self-Love

Self-love is a journey. It takes dedication, devotion, and practice. Resolve to love yourself each and every day and watch your best self blossom and your greatest life unfold! Self-love is an exponential force.

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha

What do you do to practice self-love? I’d love to know!

Applying the 5 Love Languages to Self-Love: How to Love Yourself

Joyce Marter, LCPC

Joyce Marter, LCPC is the Founder of Urban Balance and public speaker. You may find her at her personal website here, or you may follow her on Twitter.


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APA Reference
Marter, J. (2016). Applying the 5 Love Languages to Self-Love: How to Love Yourself. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 12, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/success/2016/02/applying-the-5-love-languages-to-self-love-how-to-love-yourself/

 

Last updated: 15 Feb 2016
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 15 Feb 2016
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.