Electric shivers of euphoria ripple throughout her naked body. The summer breeze encircles the lovers, intensifying the deeply arousing sensation of the wetness on her nipples from his passionate kisses. She gazes into his yearning eyes, effortlessly accessing the opening to his soul and harnessing the power of their profound connection. The rhythm of their breath mirrors the push and pull of their craving hips and entwined bodies. Her heart pounds and her genitals throb, wet with the thirst of desire. As her hands explore her lover’s body with reckless abandon, she inhales his dizzying scent and tastes the saltiness of his skin. She feels vibrant aliveness in her parting lips as she moves down his torso. Her cascading hair creates a veil which doesn’t quite prevent him from watching as she draws him into her mouth. With every breath, motion, and fiber of her being, she expresses her fierce desire, unabashed love and undying devotion. She finds herself in a dreamlike, meditative state with beautiful visions, images, colors and light refracting in her minds-eye. Intoxicating energy reverberates throughout her gently rocking body. After her lover climaxes with a deep release and exhale, he pulls her close to his broad and gratified smile. He holds her with a firm and strong caress before his face descends and dips between her softly quaking thighs…
This example illustrates that mindfulness enhances sex by increasing sensual connection. The following are five practices for you and your partner to embrace together:
1) Breathe consciously & deeply.
- Breathe down to the abdomen, giving life force, power, and energy to the sexual regions of the body.
- Breathe in what you desire and want to receive (i.e. love, connection, passion, etc.). Exhale. Relieve the tension. Surrender to the explosive release of the orgasm and the natural flow of the sexual fluids.
- Synch the rhythm of your breath with your partner’s and deepen it together. Tantric sex is a way to prolong and transcend your sexual experience.
2) Be present & aware.
- Instead of obsessing about the past or worrying about the future, bring your complete and full attention to the present moment.
- Minimize distractions. Turn off the television. Silence your phone. Put Fido or Fluffy in the other room.
- Silence intrusive thoughts (no grocery lists allowed during mind-blowing sex!) Focus your attention on your sensual awareness (the curvature of the body, the softness, the slipperiness…)
- Consider kegel exercises for bodily awareness and control of the intricate internal muscles related to sex.
- Practice yoga for breath work, increased mind/body awareness, and improved flexibility. It can also enhance sex and provide ideas for new positions.
- Avoid internal mind-chatter about worries about your body or your performance. Sex gurus, Masters and Johnson, refer to this phenomenon as, “spectatoring” because it prevents you from being present in the experience by putting you in the role of the observer.
3) Practice acceptance & non-judgement.
- Let go of expectations. There is no pressure to be perfect, to perform, or to orgasm. You and your lover, your bodies, and your time together are to be enjoyed. Period.
- Separate from ego—the false construct you identify as yourself. Connect with your essence—the deeper, authentic entity that resides within.
- Unplug from shame. Your body and your life are gifts to express your divine union with your lover.
- Detach from mind/thought/criticism. Connect with your body. Immerse yourself in the sensations.
- Let go of the need to control. Trust in yourself, your lover and the process. Enjoy the thrill of the unanticipated and unexpected ride.
- Clear out the cobwebs. Open your mind, heart and spirt to love through mindfulness meditation practices.
- Tap into your sexual energy with a Kundalini meditation.
5) Invite new possibilities.
- Detach from fear. Understand that vulnerability is sexy.
- Be welcoming. Be receptive. Be open to new experiences.
- Through conscious union of mind/body/spirit, your love will intensify. Invite and experience transcendental sex that is “out of this world.” Together with your partner, explore and connect at a different and deeper dimension.
Want to be a more mindful lover? Want a more conscious connection? Like this article and share with with the object of your affection.
“Orgasm is the involvement of the total body: mind, body, soul, all together. You vibrate, your whole being vibrates, from the toes to the head. You are no longer in control; existence has taken possession of you and you don’t know who you are. It is like a madness…it is like meditation…”~Osho
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