Home » Blogs » The Psychology of Success » How to Be Your Best Self & Lead Your Best Life

How to Be Your Best Self & Lead Your Best Life

“You are not your job, your income, your weight or your relationship status. You are the whole, perfect, unique spirit of light and love that shines from deep within.”


We all misguidedly identify ourselves via external aspects of our lives:

  • Appearance: attractiveness, weight, size, clothing.
  • Career: education, credentials, title, position.
  • Finances: income, bank account, material possessions, lifestyle.

Sometime we also identify with our psychological or relational issues:

  • Mental Illness: “I AM depressed”
  • Relationship Status: “I AM single.”
  • Life Roles: “I AM a codependent caretaker.”

All of the above is HOW we are, not WHO we are.  They are aspects of ego.  

Furthermore, through the power of self-fulfilling prophecy, what we think, we become.  If we focus our attention on the negative, that is the type of energy we attract into our lives. Everyday, we unwittingly constrain ourselves and set our own ceilings through self-limiting beliefs.

We have the choice to instead focus our attention on the deeper aspects of character and essence that truly matter:

  • Compassion: self-compassion, orientation away from self-centeredness towards consideration and empathy for others.
  • Awareness: thoughtfulness, consciousness, a greater understanding, insight, intuition, focus on the collective or global experience.
  • Patience: mindful presence without judgment, acceptance.
  • Generosity: charity, humility, acts of service and of love.
  • Forgiveness: a deep letting go of the resentments that keep us tethered to the past.
  • Integrity: dependability, reliability, acting as your highest and best self.
  • Goodness:  kindness, truthfulness, openness, doing that which is right.
  • Courage: bravery to be your true self and to the greatest extent possible.

Measure yourself by the above qualities. They define your essence.  

While we are each dealt a different hand of hardship and blessings, we are also the authors of our own life story. We have the power to make that story (our life experience,) enjoyable, impactful and good. We have the power to be our best and share our light with every person who we touch.

Today, consciously choose to detach and free yourself from identifying with that which does not matter (the externals and your “issues.”)  Focus on that which truly does: which, in a nutshell, is LOVE.

“Love is the currency of life.” @Joyce_Marter

Please be so kind as to:

Watch this free webinar: The Psychology of Success

Follow on

How to Be Your Best Self & Lead Your Best Life

Joyce Marter, LCPC

Joyce Marter, LCPC is the Founder of Urban Balance and public speaker. You may find her at her personal website here, or you may follow her on Twitter.

One comment: View Comments / Leave a Comment



APA Reference
Marter, J. (2014). How to Be Your Best Self & Lead Your Best Life. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 12, 2020, from


Last updated: 10 Apr 2014
Statement of review: Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network ( prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on All rights reserved.