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Drama, Drama, Drama…

We have all encountered them; the drama kings and queens whose sole purpose in life seems to be stirring up trouble and creating problems in the life of others.  We have experienced them in our jobs, in our family, in our neighborhood, and sometimes we get sucked into drama created by people we don’t even know because of Facebook, Twitter, or some other social media website.  The more drama, the better, and if these drama kings and queens can suck more people into their issue, well, then that’s just the cherry on top for them.

My mother was the epitome of a drama queen and spent most of her time plotting and stirring up trouble anywhere she went.  If she found out “dirt” on someone that she didn’t like, then it was all out warfare and there was no length that she wouldn’t go to in order to destroy their lives and attempt to make everyone else around her hate that person as much as she did.  There was no rhyme or reason to her drama and no one who knew Mom was ever safe from her wrath if they happened to rub her the wrong way.

I’ll never forget the day we said goodbye to and buried my beloved grandfather.  My Mom’s entire family was there and after the funeral, we all drove back to my aunt’s house for food and coffee.  I remember sitting on the floor in my aunt’s living room, talking with one of my cousins, trying to process the loss of my grandfather and remembering some of the wonderful times we both spent with him, when all of a sudden, Mom decided it was time to cause a scene.

Mom marched into the living room on a mission; her arms were crossed, there was fire in her eyes and the entire room stopped talking and looked at her.  “I want his car, I want his signed baseball and I get a third of the inheritance!” Mom stood in front of the room, defiant and sounding like a 4 year old demanding another cookie for dessert.  You could feel the tension in the room and I didn’t even have to look around to know that everyone’s jaws were on the ground; it was unbelievable.  No one knew what to say; Grandpa had just been put in the ground and Mom was already trying to stake her claim on his possessions.

My Mom’s oldest sister was the first one to react; she jumped out of her chair and pulled my mother into the foyer.  I couldn’t hear anything that was going on, but I could tell that the conversation between the two sisters was not a good one.  My mother stormed out of the foyer, “Get your stuff and we are leaving!”  I stood up and my aunt walked over to me and kissed me on the forehead.  “I love you, remember that” she whispered into my ear.  “Your mother just can’t stop causing drama.”

We left that day and I didn’t see my family again for another twenty years – and I think that is what Mom wanted, because she lived on it.  She would tell anyone who would listen about how evil her sisters were; so evil that they kicked her out of the house on the day of her father’s funeral.  The drama she created that day seemed to make her happy, give her something to talk about, and more importantly, it gave her a reason to get people to hate her sisters even more than she did.

I’ve discovered that Mom and drama kings and queens like her need drama like all of us need air to breathe  They thrive on it, live on it,  and go to great lengths to create unnecessary drama in their lives and in the lives of others.  I think Mom created drama in her life to help her focus on anything else but herself and the mistakes she had made and was still continuing to make in her life.  I think that she was so miserable that she created drama to make everyone else around her feel as bad as she did; seeing other people miserable made Mom happy and feel better about herself.

I’m sure as you are reading this blog; someone has popped into your head.  Someone who spews relationship drama all over Facebook, causes drama at family events, or stirs the pot at work on a daily basis.  You can’t change these people; you can’t stop them from causing drama because that is what makes them happy.  But you can change how you react to the drama; you can ignore it, block the drama creators on Facebook or Twitter, refuse to engage in petty gossip at work, and just focus on you and your family.  Don’t give these drama kings and queens an audience because that is what they seem to thrive on; force them to examine themselves and their behavior by ignoring the drama that they desperately try to create.

Drama, Drama, Drama…

Sarah Burleton NY Times bestselling author

Victoria Gigante Writes For Psych CentralSarah Burleton was born in a little town in Illinois to a very emotionally disturbed woman. Her first book, her child abuse memoir "Why Me," spent 26 weeks on the New York Times and the print version is endorsed by David Pelzer, author of "A Child Called It." Sarah is now realizing her goal in becoming an ambassador for abused children and adult survivors and is currently conducting workshops and seminars throughout the state. Her message of strength over adversity and her story will help counselors, teachers, and other professionals identify signs of abuse and learn ways to establish trust with an abused child.

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APA Reference
, . (2016). Drama, Drama, Drama…. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 19, 2020, from


Last updated: 20 Mar 2016
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