2 thoughts on “4 ways to Gift Your Love

  • January 22, 2018 at 3:45 am

    Hi Monique,
    I have thought of you several times lately because it seems like it’s been a while since I’ve seen any new articles from you — but perhaps that is my imagination? Anyway, I hope you are well!
    I have also noticed the Valentine/love theme popping up all over the place. I have friends that comment on it and will say things in passing about how “it seems one holiday is barely over before they are advertising the next!” I guess I am somewhat immune to it from all the years I worked in retail lol!
    I like the fact that there are different kinds of love…Love between parent and child, romantic love, the love between friends, the unconditional love that God has for us etc. I feel that love is a powerful healing force.
    For the past several days, my family has been in crisis and so I have been making a concentrated effort to show love and support even as I experience my own feelings which are likely quite different from theirs.
    You see, my former stepfather, my (half) sister and brother’s father was found dead at home late Thursday afternoon. My sister found him after stopping by after she got out of work. My brother had just gotten home and she went to visit them (my brother and his dad live together). Their father’s bedroom door was mostly closed. They thought he was sitting in his recliner watching TV or napping because they saw his legs in the doorway. After a few minutes, my sister went in to say hi and he was slumped over in his chair cold and blue. She performed CPR on her father while our brother called 911. They are devastated, and understandably so! However, my own feelings are much more complicated due to the years of abuse I suffered by his hands. I have several good memories of him but the bad far outweigh the good.
    My sister asked me during a phone call the other night “Do you think dad is in Heaven?” I spoke carefully because as I told her “I’d like to think he made his peace with God and asked forgiveness…” but who really knows? I did tell her that God loves us all and is a merciful God. Thankfully she seemed content with that and moved on.

    • January 22, 2018 at 8:27 am

      It is a difficult place to be, good memories and bad but ultimately how you feel is unique to you, others in the family had a different experience or bond with him. I had similar feelings when someone in my family died many years ago. I didn’t actually grieve them, part of it was a relief as selfish as that sounds, but our emotions are unique to us and the experiences positive/negative we had with them.

      Your answer was one of mercy and truthfully none of us know what will be forgiven and not by God, that is not our call to make.

      I don’t buy into the commercial aspect of holidays so much, but I do recognize the positives like Valentines Day makes people think about love and connection. Thanksgiving makes people think about being grateful for our blessings etc


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