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You are not Perfect, Neither am I

It is great to have high standards and strive for excellence, it is unhealthy psychologically and physically to be a perfectionist. You are not perfect, neither am I. That is part of being human and it is gives way to diversity and growth.

What is Perfectionism

Being a perfectionist is about pushing ourselves towards unrealistic standards which in turn impact how we perceive ourselves, our self-esteem. While having high standards can be of benefit, perfectionists often go to an extreme that causes emotional changes and lowered confidence. That pursuit of perfection can actually hurt our performance, like a perfectionist paradox. Confidence impacts our performance.

At the root of your perfectionism is this wanting for acceptance and for love. This could have occurred due to parents only showing attention when you accomplished high honors or an employer that never recognizes you for your accomplishments except when you deliver beyond your work description.

Perfectionism might stem from a need to challenge and push yourself, which is not necessarily bad, but you have to remember that line between perfectionism and excellence.

Perfectionism and Spirituality

For some they may feel they are not spiritual enough or they sin too much and this causes depression and anxiety. The truth is, no one is a perfect follower of their religion or beliefs. No human being is 100% perfect, it is not who we are. We are all sinners, we just sin differently.

Free Will

It takes away the concept of free will if think any one person can always be perfect and  make the right choices. You will fall sometimes, you will make mistakes. The sooner you accept this the sooner you can accept that it is okay and what is most important is that you get back up.

Here are 5 quick tips to help you with perfectionism.

5 Tips to Overcome Perfectionism

  1. Admit you are a perfectionist. If you feel frustration, anger or depression because you are not meeting your own standards and other people have commented on your standards, then you may need to admit you have an issue.
  2. Self-talk, use your critical thinking to explain things logically to yourself. “It is impossible to please everyone, it is okay if some people don’t like the design”
  3. Look at the big picture. What is the worst that could really happen or how much does this small detail really matter in the big picture?
  4. Create schedules to avoid the procrastination and rushed feelings.
  5. Acknowledge your accomplishments and be grateful for them.

Final Thoughts

Striving for excellence is a great goal, but you have to keep your standards realistic. Acknowledge your accomplishments and try to look at the bigger picture. Often what we worry about is not as large as we initially perceive.


You are not Perfect, Neither am I

Monique Hassan

Monique Hassan is a freelance writer specializing in spiritual psychology. She has a passion for integrating spirituality within the framework of modern psychology. She also works as a patient advocate at an inpatient behavioral health facility and volunteers at interfaith workshops. She has a bachelors of science in psychology with a minor in biology and is certified in crisis prevention and intervention.

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APA Reference
Hassan, M. (2018). You are not Perfect, Neither am I. Psych Central. Retrieved on June 4, 2020, from


Last updated: 11 Mar 2018
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