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How to Love Yourself

Instead of focusing on who will love you and how this will solve all of your problems; we should look at how you can love yourself first. True love will bring light and strength into your life, but you will be a better spouse and parent if you are able to love yourself. 

Healthy Love

Loving yourself is not about being arrogant or having a boastful attitude. Actually that type of behavior is sometimes indicative of over compensating for some type of insecurity. Loving yourself is having healthy yet rational self-esteem. It is positive to think you are worthy of love, it is negative to think everyone loves you.

This is where self-awareness comes into play. All too often people compare themselves to others instead of to themselves. Think about that for a moment. Do you look back at your previous 5 years and compare yourself to your own track record, noting your accomplishments and growth? Too many people compare themselves to others  marking their merit off of someone else’s life. Social media is often a tool in this. Stop comparing yourself to others, look in the mirror and think about your own growth.


Gratefulness Helps you Love Yourself

The more grateful you are for your blessings, the more you will value and appreciate love that is given to you. You will be able to find happiness in the smallest of things if you take on a more appreciative attitude. One exercise to help you feel more grateful is by spreading acts of kindness. Make time to do a charitable act, be aware of your surroundings and those that are struggling. When we look to those in situations we perceive as more difficult or it tugs on our heart, we tend to find increased gratitude for our own blessings. It is not until we see someone truly hungry for food that we feel grateful for the leftovers in the back of the fridge. Increasing your awareness of your blessings will make you appreciate yourself more. You will be spreading goodness while also benefiting yourself.

Forgive Yourself

We all make mistakes, it is part of being human. It can turn your attitude negative and hurt your trust in others if you refuse to forgive yourself for the past. God is most merciful, seek forgiveness spiritually and allow yourself to let it go. Doing that above mentioned acts of kindness can help you counteract those mistakes with positive actions. forgive yourself photo

The Golden Rule

Treat others as you want to be treated. If you want love and kindness in your life, you have to  give that love and kindness out. It will bring more positivity into your life and create more smiles. You cannot treat others wrongly and expect to love yourself and feel a sense of light and goodness in yourself.

Alone Time

Spending time with yourself allows you to become more self-aware. You really focus on your own thoughts instead of others and it can be relaxing. Take time away to pray and/or meditate, then be with yourself and your spirituality. If you can find a quiet area away from distractions this will help.

Alone time is not just about the quiet moments of solitude, it can also mean going out and doing a hobby by yourself. The idea is to be within your own thoughts and feelings for awhile without others interjecting. When you can be happy by yourself, you know that you are not picking someone for love hastily but out of a real choice and self-awareness.


Taking care of yourself actually benefits those around you because you will be more positive. Set aside time to do things that bring you joy, love and contentment. If you know certain activities bring you peace and an overall good feeling then make time for them. Make healthier choices in your diet and try to be more physically active, it nurtures you from the inside.

Final Thoughts

Learning to love yourself can help you grow and positively impact others around you. Instead of focusing on external sources to bring us joy and happiness, you can look to your own self.

Photo by Shawn-Tron

Photo by xenlab

How to Love Yourself

Monique Hassan

Monique Hassan is a freelance writer specializing in spiritual psychology. She has a passion for integrating spirituality within the framework of modern psychology. She also works as a patient advocate at an inpatient behavioral health facility and volunteers at interfaith workshops. She has a bachelors of science in psychology with a minor in biology and is certified in crisis prevention and intervention.

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APA Reference
Hassan, M. (2018). How to Love Yourself. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 26, 2020, from


Last updated: 28 Feb 2018
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