When we were running in our dependencies and addictions, we dodged emotions. We found that we were more comfortable when we felt numbed.

In sobriety, we learn we have to “touch” our feelings. We have to face painful emotions and do it without picking up a drink.

It takes experience — and time — to feel emotions and feelings. We can’t turn negative feelings off, but we can learn not to overestimate our reactions to the things life sends.

Everyone experiences negative energy. These are four that we have some control over.


There’s not many recovering alcoholics who don’t feel at least a little remorse for what we did when drinking. Some of us took money. Others took part in wild behavior — think drunk driving. We’ve troubled loved ones and friends. We don’t have to think long to come up with a laundry list of things that would be annulled — if they could.

Speak Confidentially

A huge part of healing means making reparations to people we have injured. That’s how we begin to reconcile with our history. Regret is reasonable, but it isn’t conducive to recovery. Floundering in shame just brings us down.

Endless Worry

“Worry is like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” That magnet hung on Mom’s fridge for decades. There’s a lot of truth in it.

Worrying is one of the least useful emotions to experience. Effort and energy are wasted when they’re used on worrying about things exceeding our control.


Feeling anger towards someone else means we are nursing resentment. Dwelling on the hurt — real or imagined — is letting that person live “rent free” in our head.

Feeling resentful means we want to send negative energies to someone else — all we hurt is ourselves.

Carrying around these emotions saps our strength. We give up space to “negative energy” which doesn’t help our recovery.

There’s enough negative energy in the world already without our adding to it.

Domino Effect and Empaths

If you’ve ever listened to a friend tell you about the hard times they are having and then walked away feeling down — congratulations. You have just absorbed some of their negative energy.

Soaking up others’ negative energies can leave some people feeling like an emotional catastrophe. There are “energy suckers” everywhere and talking to one can leave you feeling like you’ve been hit by a Mack Truck.

Everything in the world has energy. People, plants, animals. Everything. Everything absorbs energy and gives off energy. Most people understand the energy as an emotion of sadness or happiness.

There are people oblivious to others’ energy. Persons who may have a negative conversation and walk away without being emotionally roped into the drama.

Then there are the “empaths.” Those who can pick up on thoughts and feelings of others. Empaths who absorb others’ energy are left with an emotional hangover.

Empaths are highly sensitive, finely tuned instruments — when it comes to emotions. Empaths feel everything — often to an extreme. Intuition is the lens through which they see the world. They are naturally giving, spiritually attuned and often good listeners.

Empaths are world class nurturers and their trademark is, “I know where you’re coming from.”

Follow this link and take a short test to find out if you are an emotional empath:  

The good news is: negative energy doesn’t have to be given a home. We can flush it out of our minds, souls, spirits and even the sanctuary where we spend our time.

How to Get Rid of Negative Energy at Home


Everyone loves the sounds produced by wind chimes or bells or even Tibetan bowls. The vibrations released are pleasing and healing. Sound waves help remove stagnation and the vibrations generated can help line up spiritual energy.

FabHow.com includes other valuable tips for removing negative energies.


Toss out all unwanted and unused items. The more clutter, the more places for negative energy to “hide.”


Many recovering alcoholics with a Native American background “smudge.” Smudging is one of the oldest methods and is done by burning white sage bundles. Tobacco, cedar, sweet grass, and cypress are also good for smudging.

The belief is the smoke clears out negative emotions such as anger or stress.

There is some science to it.

A 2007 study in the Journal of Ethnopharmacology shows that medicinal smoke reduces airborne bacteria. The research found that burning medicinal herbs cleared out 94% of airborne bacteria populations.

Finish Each Day

This is nothing new. Over 100-years ago Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote:

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it well and serenely.”