5 thoughts on “Single, 61, and Seeking Close Friends: Guest Post by M. J. Coreil

  • February 13, 2020 at 12:46 pm

    It is impossible to find the perfect balance between the benefits of solitude and the comfort of company.
    Alas, there seems to be no perfect balance in anything. I think the thing (that works for me) is to go with the flow with the certainty that things are going to change, the pendulum will sing.
    I admire her courage to try something as large as moving to a ew city alone,at any age. Adventures await.

  • February 16, 2020 at 6:48 pm

    This article has excellent advice and presents a realistic perspective on some of the unexpected issues that can arise for single women, especially older women, who make large moves to explore new ways to live. I found something similar happen to me but in an unexpected move from a large city to a rural town in New York.

    Though I knew I probably couldn’t be perfectly happy in a rural area, I was determined not to be unhappy but to enjoy country life and look for activity and friendship among neighbors and peers. It has been very hard to find. I’ve tried lots of activities with a variety of people, families, and couples but have never felt that sense of belonging. My friendships with my city friends have suffered as well because of my absence and after five years, I’m thinking that I want to go back home. That’s what I realize my 40 years of urban living was, in fact – home. I’m not sure how to do that yet as I have to work and actually found a late life job I love where I currently live. But not having a network of friends, activities of interest and the familiarity of known surroundings makes one feel more vulnerable and isolated rather than simply single. I’ve always been single by choice and have never regretted it but I think the challenges are much greater than we’re led to believe by most of what’s written in popular columns and articles. Though everyone has different personalities and experiences, I appreciate the tone and honesty of this article.

  • February 20, 2020 at 12:38 pm

    About 18 months ago I decided that I would move from the large city in the north of England where I’d lived for 30 years to a coastal town in north Wales that I’d been visiting regularly for several years and which I’d come to love. I’d always wanted to live by the sea, and felt challenged by wondering if, at 65, I had one more big life change in me. So I put my house up for sale. It took a while to find a buyer, and in that time, consumed with anxiety and fear about the whole process, I began to see very clearly what my current location offered me – local shops, nearness to the city centre with its cinema, theatre and music, good transport connections that enabled me to do day trips to London and elsewhere. And all the friendships I’d made over that 30 years. I still didn’t feel much sense of belonging in “my” city – I don’t do groups of any sort – but I began to see very clearly what I had and what would be exchanged for the ability to walk on the beach. After much agonising, I took my house off the market, feeling rather cowardly for not going through with it. I now think I made the right decision – my passions for art, theatre, film and opera would all have been sacrificed and I suspect that I too would have had big problems finding my tribe in the seaside location. The final twist in this tale is that two wealthier friends, inspired by my love of the Welsh town, bought themselves a second home there, and gave me a key!

  • April 16, 2020 at 12:26 pm

    I’m a 63 year old male and never been married; living alone for a long time and never minded it. I have been living in a large city, which is top-10 in population. I am just minutes away within the center of the city. I live in a community that has a lot of single people there. I haven’t made connections very well in making friends. I live in a 55+ place, where about half the tenants are single. I chat with them, but no connection.

    As of now I am considering moving to a rural area far from where I am now to retire to. I desire to live in a house by myself and not have neighbors close by. It seems very appealing but I don’t know if it will be a good thing for me. I had planned to go to that area to check it out around now, but because of the Corona Crisis, I had to put if off. Lately I am just tired of neighbors who make noise and wake me up while I’m sleeping. I’ve done it for so long. If the neighbors were beneficial for me, then I would hesitate to leave.

    • April 16, 2020 at 3:11 pm

      Good luck. Does sound like a good idea to check out that future possibility, once that is possible.


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