8 thoughts on “Singlism in the Supermarket

  • July 25, 2019 at 9:07 am

    I’ve been single now for 15 years. I became a therapist in a small city, having gone back to university after my divorce. What I saw for myself as well as other single women was assumptions around housing. There was a definite lack of detached housing. There were NO newish small houses, on small lots. Anything smaller was old and decrepit. It seems single women belong in condos or townhouses — unless they have the money to buy more than they want or need. Single women must not want a yard for their grandkids or a garden and flower bed to take care of.

    • July 26, 2019 at 8:57 pm

      Exactly!! I’m a single mom and I live in a townhouse. The only single women I know that live in actual houses are those that divorced and stayed in the marital home or got a nice divorce settlement. I’m starting to look around for a small house because, like you said, I’d like a small yard for the possible grandkids, or just myself if grandkids don’t happen. What I’m finding is way out of my price range even with my decent income and equity in my current house. It’s ridiculous.

  • July 26, 2019 at 1:27 pm

    Boy is this true, and is it damaging and insidious. And what does it tell your children when all you invite to the house are predictable, sealed off couples? O what you cozy couples are missing!

  • July 26, 2019 at 8:11 pm

    Even after writing Onely for so many years, I still can get gobsmacked into silence by incidences like the one you described. I think you (Bella DP) are prepared to respond quickly and articulately to the more subtle forms of singlism, but when you encounter something that blatantly bigoted as what the checkout person said, the shock overrides your logical centers. I would have totally frozen. Then possibly I would have fallen to a heap on the floor screaming, “noooooo!!!” So I think you did rather well, all things considered. 🙂 🙂 :0

    • July 30, 2019 at 3:54 pm

      I remember Onely! Thank you for the reminder!

  • July 30, 2019 at 3:56 pm

    I think there is also some mommyism, wherein “single mothers” get all the press, as if those singles who didn’t breed (especially women, like they don’t know their place in life or something) “have nothing” and therefore matter less.

      • August 25, 2019 at 10:31 am

        I’m so glad someone mentioned single mothers. I’ve never been married and have been single for most of my adult life. I also have an amazing daughter. There always seemed to be a natural suspicion of me from other mothers – they don’t want me around their husbands, for instance, as if I were going to try to steal them or start an affair or something. Husbands, too, assumed the same thing, and would try to start something (and I am by no means a knock out, just average looking). I think if I had been divorced or widowed it would have been different, I would have been perceived as someone who experienced a tragedy rather than as a fallen woman of some sort. A woman where I worked even started the rumor that I had been artificially inseminated (I wasn’t), as if to suggest this was a life I chose and therefore I had no right to be upset about my financial and other personal struggles!


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