11 thoughts on “3 Condescending Comments Single People Often Hear and What I Say in Response

  • October 24, 2018 at 3:40 am

    Mine are generally as follows:

    1) “Don’t worry, your time will come” – “Don’t worry, a good friend of mine is a divorce law expert. Shall I give you his details?”

    2) “Well, being single is better in a bad relationship” – “Yeah, I’ve probably got the edge on you right now”.

    3) “You know you’re going to die alone” – “I’m sure your partner’s going to love it if you go first, right?”

    And for anyone complaining that these are “too personal” or whatever such nonsense, remember this: the other party went there first.

    Reply
  • October 24, 2018 at 12:18 pm

    I think the best thing to do with condescending single comments is to shut them down quickly and firmly, not to give them a witty comeback. 1. Defending yourself automatically gives them the power. 2. Responding at all invites them to spew back more disrespect, turning their rude statement into an entire conversation where you’re at a disadvantage because you’ve established yourself as defensive.

    Make it clear under no uncertain terms that you’re not going to discuss your relationship status with people who make rude comments, and if they keep on about it, abruptly excuse yourself. They’ll get the hint a lot faster than if you stand there verbally sparring over a topic that’s not their business anyways. Not defending yourself feels weird at first, but it feels great when you say “If you keep talking about this, I’m going to hang up / leave” and they promptly shut their mouths.

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  • October 24, 2018 at 7:38 pm

    I’m probably not the right commentor for this article as I’ve been married for 25 years but am now divorcing after a long, painful, throughly distressing time. So when someone tells me they’ve lived the single life my only comment is lucky you, I should have been so wise.

    I have, however, been getting the some of the single comments described in the article before the divorce is even over. I’ve used two responses to shut down these obnoxious and pitiful comments.

    Been there, done that, and I’ve got the t shirt shoved in the back of my drawer.

    And, (and I notice this one shuts everyone down quickly,)

    Oh, but It’s been so peaceful and simpler to not have to worry about taking care of a husbands needs all the time. I get to do what I want, when I want and never have to feel guilty or conflicted about it. I wouldn’t want to give that up.

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    • October 25, 2018 at 4:00 pm

      sorry you went through a hard time but good to hear that you have been coming up with some those replies!

      Reply
  • October 24, 2018 at 8:57 pm

    Well I wish the comments made to me and about me were as ‘nice’ as the ones mentioned. Because I am single and have been most of my life, and haven’t got children I am assumed to be a lesbian! I have been treated really badly in the past by acquaintances or work colleagues who will try and ‘cure’ me or treat me with contempt. My single sister has had the same response.

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    • October 25, 2018 at 3:59 pm

      That one has been around for a long time. What adds to the sadness is that the people who think you are a lesbian also think that it would be a bad thing if you were.

      Reply
  • October 25, 2018 at 2:48 pm

    THEM: “Isn’t that lonely?”

    ME: (Flashing my Google calendar): “Hmmmm…. I have dates with 4 friends and 2 lovers this week, as well as a community gathering… I’ll think about this “lonely” thing when I have time.”

    Reply
  • October 26, 2018 at 5:42 am

    “Nothing wrong with being single – it worked for Jesus!” That was my favorite response to this type of question. I’m happily married now, but I still believe this! Lately I’ve modified this line to “nothing wrong with not having kids – it worked for Jesus!” since I am getting asked “Don’t you want kids of your own?!?” And by the way, I absolutely cherish being a stepmom!

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