2 thoughts on “The Therapist Who Tells You that You Might Like Being Single and the Undergraduate Who Already Knows It

  • May 16, 2018 at 11:28 am

    Bella thanks for sharing both articles. Ms. Marcantetti’s description of her typical party exchange reminds me of a conversation I had with a married friend of mine last year. I explained to him that I was travelling by myself to see the temples of Cambodia (lifelong bucket list item for me). He was totally confounded by this. He was like you are going on vacation by yourself, what are you going to do? I was like I am going to a country that is literally overflowing with interesting sights, history, culture and people, what do you mean what am I going to do, my challenge is figuring out how I am going to fit it all in? He just could not fathom travelling alone, there was a complete disconnect.

    Ms. Patterson’s quote “The fact is that I often ran away because I was bored. When I’m on my own, I’m never, ever bored” totally resonates with me. Also she is very lucky to have found a therapist who was willing to embrace being single. I had a great therapist while I was working through my divorce but she had a real blind spot with being single. She could just not get on-board with somebody desiring to remain single. She essentially equated it in not so many words as leading to emotional stagnation. She was as confounded by my desire to stay single as my friend above was that I’d travel alone.

    • May 16, 2018 at 3:33 pm

      Thanks for all these great observations, secstate. I loved that quote about boredom, too. That is disappointing, but not surprising, about your therapist’s blind spot. Just yesterday, I emailed a therapist who has a great attitude toward single people, asking her to write a guest post. Hope she agrees. And hope you have/had a great time in Cambodia! Sounds amazing.


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