12 thoughts on “Patricia Arquette, Jon Stewart, and the No Good, Very Bad Week for Women Who Are Single or Have No Kids

  • February 25, 2015 at 2:31 pm

    Agree 100%.

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  • February 26, 2015 at 5:09 am

    I’m disappointed that the “singles” demographic is divided into those who are truly single and without a live-in partner and those who choose to not get married but cohabitate with a significant other. Sometimes the distinction is important and sometimes it isn’t.

    Because Addario was more or less saying that having a spouse/live in partner is “a life” ….. the “life” she has would also be available to those who are single and cohabitating.

    Hope you understand what I mean.

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  • February 26, 2015 at 7:17 am

    I’m disappointed with Jon Stewart. He should surely be smart enough to know that you can be single and have a life.

    I’m single and I do. Even if I did get married at some point, I would still consider my single years meaningful

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  • February 26, 2015 at 10:28 am

    Seems sad Addario felt she had no life before marriage. Seems really sad. I should think living the exciting life she led complete with the sense she made a difference in the world would equate to living.

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  • February 26, 2015 at 4:37 pm

    This is depressing. Being a “single” myself, I am afraid that I know exactly how Addario could have said such a thing, although I do not believe it myself. The sometimes silent and sometimes blatant bias that exists within our society still tells single women that she is not valuable, or okay or happy without a partner, regardless of her successes. I feel, in fact, that success is not perceived as actual success, and am pitied or urged to “get my life started” even though I put myself through school alone after overcoming a life-threatening physical injury. It’s still not enough for people to celebrate with me, or rarely so. If I were to marry, on the other hand, I am confident there would be a difference in social validation, etc, without much effort on my part. I love being single, though, and largely enjoy being independent.

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    • February 26, 2015 at 4:41 pm

      I would like to celebrate you for putting yourself through school despite the odds — congratulations! And I love hearing that you love your single life.

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      • February 26, 2015 at 5:04 pm

        Thank you! :*)

        Reply
    • March 1, 2015 at 10:12 am

      Indeed. A fantastic story. Much happiness to you.

      Reply
  • February 26, 2015 at 4:59 pm

    I took it to mean that she works so hard and also manages to have time for her own life — a social life. Perhaps it took having a partner to make her take time for herself. Some people that driven by work might lose themselves in it unless a friend pulls them out.

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  • February 26, 2015 at 6:20 pm

    As a single mother by choice through adoption, I was immediately frustrated when listening to Arquette talk about giving birth. Unfortunately, there’s kind of a motherhood hierarchy in much of society’s mind which puts biological mothers at the top and adoptive mothers at the bottom. Though she probably didn’t think she was endorsing that, her comment was an example of how our society disregards non-biological parents and other caretakers. Singles are quite often the caretakers of children as well as others in their lives. I haven’t been raising my daughter alone but with the help and support of a number of single friends. Legal parenthood doesn’t make anyone more deserving.

    And, though I usually love Jon Stewart, his comment is indicative of many who have “joined the club.” I hope he is not one of those who feels that they were “enlightened” by marriage. As a lifetime single, I detest any married condescendingly informing me, either by actions or words, that I can’t understand what having a REAL life is all about until I walk down that aisle. Maybe he just needs to be made aware, much like many other good people in society.

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  • February 27, 2015 at 6:39 pm

    I really struggled with these comments, too, and appreciate that everyone has summarized what I’m feeling. My life as a single person is fairly new (5 years) and having been married for many years before that, I am trying hard to learn to love and appreciate who I am now, why, and where I want to go. I’ve raised kids alone, financed my college, kept a full time job and a home, and much more. But rarely do I hear compliments or atta boys. When I was married, however, the compliments about our kids, our home, our jobs, our life were ongoing. All of this social expectation and ‘you’re not worthy as a single’ meme that I am discovering is so disheartening and makes me angry at times. I’m so excited to be single and independent. It is such a wonderful life, and I also feel very fortunate, though, to have experience married life.

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  • February 28, 2015 at 1:33 pm

    I am single. I don’t have kids. When Patricia Arquette said that I agreed and was happy that she brought up equal wages. I took it to mean FOR ALL women, not just mothers. I’m not offended at all. And I don’t think Jon Stewart meant at all that non-married people don’t have lives. Most of my friends, men and women, are single. I also have married friends. None of us take offense to these things. We know these people didn’t mean it the way the author took it. Maybe this doesn’t bother me because I spend so much time with my single friends and also none of my married friends go around telling me how I’m less of a person because I’m single. It’s just not an issue. My single friends and I just live our lives–it’s just not an issue. I guess I’m lucky to have so many single friends, and married friends who don’t see this as an issue, so as not to feel ostracized or put down. I didn’t even notice. I get that inherent bias is out there and also built in to our laws as well, but Patricia and Jon did not mean it the way people are taking it.

    Reply
 

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